If you were a teen or tween in the 2010’s with Internet access, you probably read some form of written smut. Whether that was raunchy One Direction fanfiction, steamy fantasy stories, or a Wattpad original about a hot billionaire, there was someone (or something?) to fantasize about.
Nowadays, especially within spaces like Tumblr, where explicit pornography has been banned altogether and any sort of mature content gets flagged, it’s a little harder to access such stories. It’s still quite easy if you know where to go, and users have always lied about their age in order to see 18+ content. But why are these precautions being set in the first place, when just a few years ago any and everyone could access these raunchy stories? We turned out just fine, didn’t we? Why do we care so much?
The thing is, a lot of people who were exposed to pornographic content at a young age actually didn’t come out unscathed. It presents itself in a multitude of ways, but it’s often quite evident when someone was lurking on certain parts of the Internet when they weren’t supposed to be. Exposure to smutty content often results in:
- Unrealistic ideas about sex.
This is a bit of a broad topic to breach, but often those who consumed such stories began to idealize these perfect smutty scenarios. It’s almost comparable to people who grew up with pornography addictions; they think that this is exactly how sex is supposed to be, no matter what. This thought can lead to other problems arising, but the unrealistic portrayals of sex are more often than not the roots of other underlying issues. Often, smut portrays sex as this perfect unity between people where no communication is needed, even in the most hardcore scenarios. It’s comparable to sex scenes in movies where all parties involved look and sound picture-perfect, without even a hair out of place. This is detrimental to a young person’s perception of sex, because those of us who have grown up and had real sex know that this could not be further from the truth. Real sex can be messy and awkward–and oftentimes, it is! This doesn’t mean that it’s bad sex, or that there’s anything wrong with you. In reality, people don’t have flawless, passionate, romantic, and kinky sex with zero communication. There will be mistakes, there will be funny moments, and there will definitely be some trial and error, especially with new partners.
- Romanticization of toxic behavior.
So often, the romantic interests portrayed in smut are cold-hearted and tough–as if the entire genre about cold-hearted (but sexy?) billionaires isn’t extremely popular on TikTok and Instagram (often referred to as BookTok and Bookstagram, respectively). There is a big difference between having a character that is morally gray and romanticizing their toxic behavior. The bad boy trope was also extremely popular, especially within fanfiction, and this is another prime example of people romanticizing abusive behavior. There is another rose-colored lens when it comes to fanfiction, because people adore the characters and people that they are reading about–they are more likely to excuse toxic behavior simply because of the character that the fiction revolves around. Books like “After” by Anna Todd and “It Ends With Us” by Colleen Hoover have become extremely popular, and I wonder how people cannot see the issues that such stories can cause.
- Susceptibility to abusive sexual situations.
As previously mentioned, the romantic interests in smut are often mean and rough, and this definitely translates into the bedroom. Many smutty stories are full of these rough men who are into hardcore BDSM. While there’s nothing wrong with kinkier sex, the normalization of it was ingrained into so many young minds through fiction. I know so many people that think choking and slapping and spitting without consent is normal, when it’s really not. If you are with someone and you want to go into some kinkier territory, you have to communicate that with your partner or partners. This is a part of that “awkward” territory in real sex that people get uncomfortable with really fast because porn and smut don’t ever talk about this part. My go-to saying is always this: “if you’re not ready to talk about sex, you’re probably not ready to be having it.” (Thank you to “Big Mouth” on Netflix for that awesome quote).
There are so many specific scenarios and reasons in my own life that I could attribute to my early exposure to written pornography–many of them being the ones I listed above. In a way, I do believe that it is a form of porn addiction. Though I was not addicted to it, simply being exposed to it was enough to mold my sexual ideals into something that was unhealthy. I cannot imagine how warped some people’s perceptions of sex must be, if I was merely exposed to it and that was enough to convince me of certain things.
There are age limits on certain forms of media for a reason–and a damn good one too. It might be tempting, especially when people reach that curious age, but it is never worth it. Kids might think they can control themselves, or think that they’re mature for their age and therefore mature enough to consume adult content, but it is not the same thing. I proposed that same argument: I was mature for my age and I had a grapple on what was toxic behavior, but it was not enough. It will never be enough.