There is truly nothing better than settling in on a chilly fall day to watch some of possibly the best show on earth, “New Girl.” Because “New Girl” is one of those shows that does a Thanksgiving episode almost every season, it’s inevitable that there will be some binging over the holidays, especially since they’re all such classics. That being said, not everyone has the time to watch all of the Thanksgiving “New Girl” episodes back to back. Lucky for you, I do have the time, and I watched them back-to-back to provide a comprehensive ranking and summary of every episode. Take a look at which season’s episodes I think are the best and at some of my initial reactions to the episodes that I’ve included as well. Warning: I am and forever will be a Winston stan, so be prepared for some complaints about his lack of screen time.
Spoilers ahead!
#5 – Season 6: Episode 7 “Last Thanksgiving”
While in last place, this episode is still thoroughly entertaining. Schmidt and Cece are celebrating their first Thanksgiving as a married couple, meaning that this is the last Thanksgiving all our favorite characters have in the loft we’ve all come to know and love. While Cece and Schmidt’s honeymoon phase is adorable in this episode, it’s overshadowed by Schmidt’s dad ruining the meal by getting drunk and crying over his ex-girlfriend, Ann Kim (who he cheated on, by the way). Robby is also present this Thanksgiving in his wheelchair after Jess accidentally maimed him in a previous episode. Jess tries to break up with him, but fails– and honestly, I would too if I was trying to break up with a man I handicapped. It doesn’t matter anyway, as Robby makes a speech about how much he likes Jess near the end of the episode, and she ends up falling for him.
Overall, this Thanksgiving episode is overshadowed by season-long plotlines, like Jess’s relationship with Robby and Schmidt’s dad being a bad person. It’s saved by the little things, like Jess threatening to bleach Winston’s bird shirts (and him being thoroughly offended), Nick throwing the turkey against the wall, and Schmidt’s refusal to call his father anything but “daddy.” Overall, I rated this episode a 6/10 because of the little jokes in between the relationship drama, and Winston doesn’t get his own subplot–and he always deserves a subplot. Check out some screengrabs and my initial notes of the episode below.
#4 – Season 4: Episode 9 “Thanksgiving IV”
This Thanksgiving, every loft member is single, which makes Schmidt organize a “Bangsgiving” where everyone brings another person a date (think of it as secret Santa but with people). It absolutely blows my mind that anyone thought this was a good idea, especially with Nick and Jess recovering from recently breaking up for the first time. I know Schmidt constantly has ridiculous ploys like this, but they are rarely approved by everyone in the loft. Yet somehow, Bangsgiving happens, and I’m glad we get to watch the trainwreck. Almost nobody likes their date– Winston has a fear of lunch ladies (which I have decided to not think about too much), Coach’s date is stronger than her (and we all know Coach’s masculinity is insecure at best), and Schmidt’s date is a girl Nick dated a couple of years ago and also anti-Semitic, which is brushed over in literally one line. Nick brings his quiet bestie Tran, and Ryan Geauxineau is invited to be Jess’s date, even though they aren’t allowed to be romantic because Jess is Ryan’s boss.
I will forever believe that the writers of “New Girl” did Ryan so dirty with his storyline, so I was happy to see his and Jess’s relationship just starting out. Overall, this episode had its moments, like Winston admitting he has a foot fetish (?) and Jess seducing Ryan wearing nothing but a homemade Thanksgiving-themed apron but was otherwise overlookable. I gave it a 6.5/10, because it had a more Thanksgiving-themed plot than season six, but it was otherwise just okay.
#3 – Season 2: Episode 8 “Parents”
The second season Thanksgiving episode grants us some much-needed backstory on why Jess is the way she is, as we finally meet her parents. The two main plots of this episode are Jess trying to get her parents back together and Schmidt and his cousin, also named Schmidt, having a manliness contest. This results in Jess trying to shove the turkey down the garbage disposal and Schmidt’s cousin full-on kissing Winston, both endings that are so out-of-pocket but so classically “New Girl.”
We also see some foreshadowing of Nick and Jess’s relationship as Nick meets Jess’s parents for the first time. Nick and her dad get along well until he is forced to hit on Jess’s mom in an attempt to make her father jealous, and he ends up actually being attracted to her mother. This episode culminates in a classic “New Girl” argument where everyone is arguing about separate things very loudly, which gave this episode some extra points for sure. Overall, this Thanksgiving episode is a blueprint for the following ones–chaotic but finishing in a cheesy ending. I gave it a 7/10, and it would’ve been higher if Winston got his own subplot (even though he stole the show without one anyway).
#2 – Season 1: Episode 6 “Thanksgiving”
This Thanksgiving episode has so much going on, and I love it. Schmidt and Cece are just beginning their relationship as they try to cook dinner together, but it’s made so sexual it’s almost uncomfortable. Meanwhile, Nick is so clearly in love with Jess already that he is a total “negative nancy” (Jess’s wording) towards Jess’s date, Paul Genzlinger, the music teacher at her school. Paul provides some absolute Thanksgiving jams that set the tone for a happy and normal Thanksgiving–until they set the apartment on fire and find a dead body in their neighbor’s apartment.
This episode is so iconic I think it’s what a lot of “New Girl” fans picture when they think “New Girl Thanksgiving.” The characters are still new enough that their personalities are completely clashing with each other in the apartment, which leads to some heated arguments. The one-liners are also amazing, like Schmidt’s list of sexy holidays and Nick’s refusal to call his pumpkin beer a pumpkin ale. This episode also has to have been a bonding moment for the loft mates– because what can make you best friends if finding a dead body can’t? I gave this episode a 9/10, only because Jess constantly references a friendly relationship between “the pilgrims and the Indians,” which is surprisingly off character for a liberal teacher. Don’t worry, she changes her stance to a more Jess-like outlook on the holiday in later seasons.
#1 -Season 3: Episode 10 “Thanksgiving III”
Although I thought I was going to like the season one Thanksgiving episode best, the season three episode ended up absolutely taking the cake. The gang goes camping, which Nick proposes after being teased by Coach for becoming too girly while dating Jess. Nick, Schmidt, and Coach are in the midst of a manliness competition, a trope common for “New Girl,” as they try to hunt for meat for their Thanksgiving meal. Unfortunately, after Schmidt dislocates his shoulder in a squirrel trap, all they end up finding was a fish that was already dead and rotting. Meanwhile, Cece, Jess, and Winston go to a gas station to get some fruit and nuts, which they then try to pass off as food they “foraged”–which is so funny because some of the food they got includes multiple avocados, a watermelon, and pistachios without the shell. It’s details like this that make “New Girl” such a good comedy to watch over and over again.
The episode finishes after Jess eats a rotten fish to show how much she cares about Nick, which is when every viewer should’ve decided that they were meant to be together. The crazy scenarios the characters get into during this episode, like Jess being stuck in a bear trap that Nick set while delirious with food poisoning (which begs the question of why was Nick trying to catch a bear in the first place), are good enough to put this season’s Thanksgiving into first place, but it also has a sweet side. This episode also shows how much Jess and Nick genuinely care for each other. The chemistry these two characters have makes being stuck in a pitch-black hole while vomiting seem so romantic. It mixes perfectly with the camping horror that goes on to make this episode entertaining, while also giving you that warm-and-fuzzy feeling holiday specials should give you. This episode earns a 9.75/10– and you guessed it, it would’ve had a perfect score if Winston had more time to shine.