In 1992, author Gary Chapman wrote a landmark novel called The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. In it he outlines the five different ways that we as humanbeings express and receive love. Depending on each of our personality types we may feel love differently than our partners, friends or even family members. It is important that we recognize and understand the Love Language that most represents those dearest to us in order to properly provide the support, recognition and appreciation all people deserve. Now without further ado, here are The Five Love Languages!
- Words of Affirmation
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Sticks and stones may break bones, but to those with this Love Language words can truly hurt them, OR they can completely raise and uplift! If you fall into this category, odds are that words mean an incredible amount to you. This doesn’t mean you need to be constantly praised or told how great you are. Rather, simple compliments and little “I love you’s” can go a long way, while insults or criticism can definitely put a damper your spirit.
- Acts of Service
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If you fully believe that actions speak louder than words then you may be a member of this Love Language. Those who express love in this manner tend to be doers; they’ll clean up the house, cook a nice meal or do the laundry for no other reason than to be helpful to those they care about. These people tend to resent actions carried out through obligation and they can easily detect when you did something out of kindness versus because you felt you had to do so.
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- Receiving Gifts
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Before you judge these people as being materialistic, this Love Language does not mean you solely express your care through money or objects. Rather, these people deeply value thoughtful and meaningful things; whether that be picking up their favorite food on your way home from work, or knitting them a scarf for Christmas. They get extremely excited to give presents to their friends and family, and they are usually the best gift-givers at the party. This may seem similar to Acts of Service, but the difference here is that this Love Language is not limited explicitly to actions.
- Quality Time
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One on one time means more to these people than anything else. When you’re around somebody who falls into this Love Language they don’t care what you do as long as you are together. That means putting the phone away and connecting with each other. It is arguable this Language is the most misunderstood, but don’t get confused. They don’t long to sit on the couch alone with you all day. However, every time you cancel plans, show up late or stare at your phone screen it is likely these people are feeling at least slightly excluded by you.
- Physical Touch
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This Love Language can be misinterpreted as the “PDA” language, but this does not mean that they want to make out with everybody 24/7 in the slightest! Instead, these people value nothing more than being hugged, kissed, cuddled, or holding hands with their loved ones. If your loved one falls into this Love Language and you keep your hands entirely to yourself, these people will probably feel unloved in some capacity. To put it simply, they want to be close to you physically so that they know they are close to you emotionally.
You may identify with more than one of these languages and that’s completely normal! If you want to take the online test to find out which Love Langauge category you fall into follow the link here https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/ and take the online quiz. Relationships of all types can be complicated, hopefully this little test will help!