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Camels Dating: Response to Cosmopolitan’s “Working the Ratio”

Have you had the chance to read the November issue of Cosmopolitan magazine? Connecticut College’s was mentioned in an article entitled, Working the Ratio. Our very own school was ranked as the ninth worst school to meet single guys! But honestly, how many Camels were surprised by this claim? The female to male ratio of 6:4 at Connecticut College simply does not work in a women’s favor. Unfortunately, guys statistically do have a larger pool to choose from. Her Campus was interested in seeing how typical Connecticut College women and men feel about the dating scene on campus. Is the student body happily in a relationship? Happy hooking up? Or completely disillusioned? Here are a couple of profiles. 

Female Camels’ Perspectives

Class of 2017. Once upon a time this student was in a meaningful relationship. It lasted five years! They started dating in middle school. Unfortunately it did not last.  She believes Conn’s dating scene is extremely different from what she is accustomed. She would rather date than hook up. Although she has only been here for a few months, she has noticed male camels’ negative reputation, and she believes they deserve it. She is currently in a relationship with a Conn junior. Although she is not disillusioned with Conn’s dating scene, she is disillusioned with her relationship.

Class of 2016.  This camel reports having one meaningful relationship her freshman year. They met at a Cro dance, but the couple did not get well acquainted until they became study partners for a class. The relationship was going well until several months later rumors arose of the guy’s infidelity. She is currently involved with a senior and things are going well and she is very optimistic. They met through mutual friends and casual interactions. (Her Campus is crossing our fingers!) She acknowledges that at Connecticut College there are more hook-ups than relationships. She thinks that relationships do not last because of the campus’ small size. She feels that too many people meddle into others’ relationships and ultimately “destroy” them. She remains optimistic on relationships and says, “I feel that many of us women have just been looking instead of just waiting. Men on this campus are capable of being good boyfriends/partners, but as of now they haven’t proved themselves”.  Although not disillusioned she says that if her current relationship does not work out she will abandon relationships at Conn because of all the drama “associated” with them. 

Class of 2015. This gal has had one meaningful relationship and he did not attend Connecticut College. She acknowledges that Conn has a hook-up culture and not a dating scene. She has not really hooked up with men at Conn. She is truly a relationship girl and does not feel men at Conn share this interest. She says that guys from her hometown ask girls out on formal dates and guys at Conn have never even tried! She believes that to a certain extent, guys at Connecticut College deserve their tainted reputation. She says, “I feel like a majority of guys have the mentality to get with as many girls as they can and don’t give some girls the respect they deserve”. She gets frustrated when she hears guys brag about their hook-ups to their friends.  However, she believes girls at Conn need to raise their standards and respect themselves first before the world can do the same. She has questioned her dating standards herself, because she could not understand why no man at Conn has been able to meet her expectations! Another girl from the same class says she has had both victories and defeats in Conn’s dating scene. She admits to making out in Cro dance, a one night stand, a long term exclusive hook up, to an exclusive relationship. She does ot blame anyone at Conn for these occurances. She chose her course of actions based on what was right for her at the moment. She sought people with her same mindset. She thinks Conn’s dating scene is about what you make it and whether or not someone is willing to put themselves out there. She praises people for being aware of their current situations and not starting commitments that they are unable to answer. 

Class of 2014. She has had three meaningful relationships in her lifetime and only one of them was at Conn. They met through the LGBTQ center on campus. When asked to describe Conn’s dating scene in ten words she said, “No one thinks anyone wants to date. Many people do.” She would rather date but is not opposed to hookups and acknowledges that they are more frequent. When asked if Conn men are deserving of their bad rep she says she thinks that they do. She says, “When I trained for Green Dot, there were 10 girls for every guy there, which lead me to believe they don’t think its problem, because it’s not their problem”. She also offered incredible and an extremely insightful and motivating perception on dating, “I think people have to stop blaming an entire scene on why they are single. Meeting someone you like and who likes you back involves meeting someone. If students were more active on campus they would have a much better time with the dating scene.”

What do the guys have to say about this? Check out several male camels’ perspectives!

Class of 2017. Two camel respondents admitted to being happy in their current relationships. However, their current girlfriends do NOT attend Connecticut College. They are dating their high school sweethearts. They have been on campus for a little less than a semester and although the youngest grade,  they consider the dating scene here “nonexistent” and “immature.” They rather be in long distance relationships, than sacrifice love for something here. At the time of his interview another member of the class of 2017 confessed to being in a “drunk relationship”. This means that he and his girlfriend were a result of a drunken night of adventure. He says he felt pressured to then ask her to be his girlfriend. They have since broken up.

Class of 2016.  A Connecticut College sophomore put it very plainly, “Dating is rare here.” He thinks our hook up culture is the result of individual’s constant desire to feel as though they belong; essentially, we are lacking a sense of commitment.  He says, “There is this subconscious desire to want to have sex, to feel like they belong in the community.” He is currently in a very happy and thriving relationship with a freshman. When asked how he dcided to make the commitment he says it was very difficult. He was being skewed by what was “cool” and “normal” at Connecticut College, which constrated with what he always knew he wanted. It took him a long time to finally make his relationship “official” but says he took a leap of faith. He realized that he could really have something meaningful and valuable.

Class of 2015. One of the guys in the class of 2015 says he is aware of guys reputation on campus but does not think that men are to blame. He claims there is no dating scene at Connecticut College. He thinks girls need to accept the fact that they are equally responsible for the dating scene. He mutually enters these “relationships” or hook-ups with girls and after discussing their options they both decide that it is not the proper time, nor place, for a relationship. Additionally, he blames campus tours. He says it is unfair that we are not told about campus life on tours. Student to faculty ratios are great, but we want to, and should hear about dating, availability, and sex because those are vital factors in a college student’s life. 

Class of 2014. This camel believes the perception is wrong. Conn is good place for finding men to date. He thinks it is predominantly the freshman and sophomore population which are overtly concerned with hooking up. He blames the SINGLE ROOMS! Apparently, getting his own room as a sophomore led to inviting female company over. The independence got the best of him. He has since changed his mind. He claims that males at Conn are more likely to want to settle down as upperclassmen. Guys are open to relationships! He says, “Although the ratio is not ideal, there are plenty of nice guys on campus!” 

Additionally, there are several happy couples on campus. Take a look at this profile below!

A Happy Couples Perspective

We spoke with two juniors whom are dating and both currently studying abroad. They have been dating since their freshman year, literally since day one of freshmen orientation. They stumbled upon each other, although neither was looking for a relationship. Two years later, they could not be happier. They have grown accustomed to going on dates in New London and love the restaurants downtown. Date nights range from going up to mystic, hiking, or staying in and ordering food. They share a friend group and have not had any difficulties maintaining friendships and their relationship because of that. Their absolute favorite experience was building a bed fort and hanging out with their friends under it afterwards! AW!

Do not give up Camels! From our respondents we get the feel that both guys and gals want to date! Everyone claims the dating scene is non-existent, yet most respondents want something more significant. The overarching advice was get out there! Our respondents stress the importance of finding like-minded people, that are looking for the same things that you are. Hook-ups or dating, or whatever title people want to assign their relationships is for their own choosing and is no one else’s business. As long as a couple enters a mutual agreement and are happy and safe, then there is no need label Conn as the number ninth WORST school in the country. Conn is what you make it and your version of love is out there somewhere. For now, check out these past Her Campus Conn Coll articles with relationship and dating advice. 

Janil Tejada is a Connecticut College Junior. She was born and raised in New York City. She is currently majoring in Latin American Studies and History. She is considering getting a PhD in Latin American studies. However, her heart has always been in issues affecting females and fashion. She is also passionate about social justice! She loves it all. She is PICA scholar, MMUF and NASPA NUFT fellow and Floor Governor. She is also in Eclipse and Umoja. She is very friendly and loves it when people get involved! Feel free to ask her any question!
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