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To Those Girls Trying to Cope with a Break Up

I’ve seen so many friends go through painful, heart-wrenching break ups, and I can tell you as an outsider who makes it a priority to listen and just be there for that person, it’s not easy. Let me clarify – what I mean is that it’s not easy to watch such innately good and lovely souls question how valuable, how beautiful, and how special they are and not be able to do anything to change their mind. So, if you’re reading this and you’re one of those girls, this goes out to you. But you are forewarned: I’m going to try to change your mind.

Whether you’ve been on the receiving end of the break up or initiated it yourself, it’s painful, so very painful. Whether it was amicable or not, there’s a huge change going on in your life when your relationship comes to an end – that person you trusted more than anyone, that person you always wanted by your side and probably spent most of your time with, that person you fell head over heels for, your person, is not a part of your life anymore. One way or another, it’s a loss.

Most of you might refuse to say it out loud or deny this to yourself and others because it’s too difficult to face, but you saw a future with this person. The truth is, they had the potential to become your whole world and now, they’re gone. Just out of your life, temporarily taking with them your happiness and self-confidence. It might feel as though you’ve been robbed of time and will never be rid of the constant replays in your mind of the memories you shared with them, but that’s just it-it’s temporary.

That hurt you feel, that uneasiness overpowering your stomach, and that negativity tainting your mind and thoughts will go away with time. I can promise you that at one point, you won’t feel this way. You’ll be able to realize that just because you no longer have this person to call your own doesn’t mean your life is over. It just means that for whatever reason, you two had separate paths to follow.

This does not take away, and should not take away, from the time you spent together, as a couple, as two people who cared deeply about one another. Nothing can and will change that fact because it’s a fact. It was real, even if for a short time and even if that realness seems fragmented. You two were together for a reason, but that reason no longer applies, and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with that.

You will be happy again. For right now, it might be hard to imagine but it’s 100 per cent true. In the meantime, quit questioning your worth – in case you haven’t already noticed, this is the part where I become a hard-ass. For your own sanity, stop thinking about the ‘what ifs’ and stop replaying the last conversation you had together hoping to find some hint of hope. If it seems like it’s really over, it hurts me to say and it’ll hurt to face, but it’s over. I say this for your own good because knowing the pain you’re putting yourself through, there’s no other way to help you get through this. You don’t need them. You want them, yes, but you don’t need them. There’s a difference. You deserve to be happy. Let yourself be happy.

Somewhat intense, somewhat carefree spirit attempting to navigate through Concordia's English Literature program. Lover of all things literature with an unceasing desire to find my own personal, unique space within the field. Acquires a totally awesome sense of humour.
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