The allure of the “sexy” Halloween costume: a vexing death-trap of too-high knee-highs, unnecessary glitter, and too-short skirts. How to look darn good, while not looking utterly ridiculous, you ask? A tricky task, indeed. I will not guarantee that you will avoid the ever-fatal nip-slip by following these guidelines, but I will offer some candid and helpful tips to ensure you’ve at least covered all your bases (among other things).
Ask yourself:
1. Can you see cheek when you bend over, walk, or move in general? If so, nix it, trade in a slightly longer skirt, dress, or whatev in God’s name you’re wearing. If you’re very attached to this particular ensemble, then at least throw on some booty-shorts for a lil’ extra coverage.
2. Is there any possibility at all that a real-life nip-slip could occur? Or, alternatively, is any part of your costume just a tad too transparent (he honest with yourself. You’ll thank me later). If so, will you be around humans? If yes, strongly consider, oh I don’t know, a bra, or some “fashion”- tape. No need to revamp the entire outfit, but I guarantee you, especially on Halloween, if it can happen, it will happen. You’ll laugh, you’ll walk it off, but lets be real, you’d rather avoid it.
3. Is your outfit racially, ethnically, or just generally, offensive? If so (or “maybe, idk is pocahontas offensive?”…debateable btw, but mostly yes), then I suggest leaving it at home. You should know better, and there are better options out there anyway.
If this advice has left you at a loss, don’t fret. When in doubt, consult LC
Drawbacks vs. Benefits of the “Clever” Costume
The successful execution of a clever Halloween costume, that also manages to be kind of cute, means to me that you have struck Halloween gold. But lets bear in mind that your idea of clever might very well be someone else’s idea of “sooooo like what are you?” Let me preface this by saying you do you. Nobody else’s opinions should dictate your life-choices, Halloween-style included. But if what you’re going for is more in line with clever-meets-cute, than the equally-respectable “loool, wait what?” then maybe proceed with just a tad bit of caution.
Clever-cute costumes tend to show off your sparkling personality, whilst you still manage to look fierce.
Ask yourself:
1. Will people get this?
2. Do I care if they do?
3. Am I trying to attract or repel people? (seriously though).
Not all great, but refer here for some promising gems
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: From my knowledge, the Freudian slip thang has proven quite popular this year. By all means, go for it. Just bear in mind that you may be matching about half the girls in Mel’s.
What exactly is on the evening’s agenda? This is Halloween, after all, and for some, the evening’s festivities entail – among your various escapades, shameless selfies, and instas with your girls – attracting the eye of that particular cutie you’ve had your eye on since that one sophomore year poli sci study sesh (guilty). If this sounds like you, there are some basic guidelines to consider here. No need to go over-board pondering if your mini-mouse costume is more “guy cute” or “girl cute” (who even knows? I mean really). But if a hook up, phone number, or even just some flirty convo is what you’re after, then I urge you to veer toward a costume that, for lack of better wording, will not make you hugely unapproachable.
In other words, maybe don’t do this:
or this:
but try for this:
Lo killin’ it as always. Obviously.
A final word? Wear what you want! My humble advice aside, if you want to dress up as a human-sized penguin, then you do you. From personal experience, however, if you do go with the giant penguin thing, I would heavily advise some serious consideration of the aforementioned rules. That is all. Happy Halloweening, Barnard! Can’t wait to see you out and about. Hopefully, sanz nip-slip. May the odds be ever in your favor.