Before I came to Barnard, I heard opinions that ran the gamut about the people I’d encounter at a liberal arts women’s college. I expected pretty much everything from feminist activists to bisexual roommates, even girls concerned solely with their M.R.S. degree.
I can tell you that these stereotypes are largely reductive, but every now and then you overhear some sh** Barnard girls say that plays right into those narrow-minded expectations, and some sh** that’s even weirder…
“I mean she’s kind of an evil bi*ch, but I’m ok with it cuz she’s pretty.”
Well they don’t call us strong, BEAUTIFUL Barnard women for nothing!
“I don’t eat before I drink…duh.”
Ah yes, I too am on that diet. It’s called the CAVA.
“He’s only moderately undesirable.”
Columbia Goggles claim another victim.
“Let me put my lack of sex into perspective: woke up with a cat this morning.”
Columbia Goggles give up and leave this girl alone with her decisions.
“Are you gonna go to Butler?”
“No, I’m too lazy to put cute clothes on. I’m just gonna go to the Barnard library or the Diana.”
“Omg. That was such a sexist commercial.”
No way. During the SuperBowl? I am APPALLED.
“Well, this isn’t exactly related, but last semester in my Postmodernism class when we were discussing the use of transcendental signifiers in recreating meaning…”
I totally see your point, but then again, last week I decided to buy a goldfish. Wait, I’m sorry I thought we were talking about things that aren’t relevant.
“They met at Hillel dinner! How cute is that?”
Hillel dinner: Barnard’s version of JDate…I wish I could say this sarcastically, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Email from Well Woman: “Be your own Valentine. Celebrate your most important relationship: the one you have with yourself.”
Yeah! Because who needs sex when you can self-actualize? Right, ladies? Right??
“Every time my colloquium meets we just end up arguing about feminism and double standards in literature for half the class. I used to think it was so annoying, but then I went home for Christmas break and started aggressively arguing about the sexist female portrayals on CW and ABC shows. It was just awkward because none of my friends argued back.”
Welcome to the club, friend. Your life is Barnard.
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Give us your thoughts on “Sh*t Barnard Girls Say” and submit your lines either BELOW as comments of email them to Toby Milstein at tobymilstein@hercampus.com or Giselle Boresta at giselleboresta@hercampus.com for consideration :)