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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Columbia Barnard chapter.

Finding a special someone in this city is like looking for a needle in a haystack. At some points in the dating process, one can feel hopeless now that we are living in a current state of ‘hook-up culture.’ We go on dates upon dates trying to find another person to connect with, and believe me, this can be truly exhausting. However, when we do find someone we want to spend our time with and potentially fall in love with, how do we maintain that relationship?

Designate a Date Night

Choose a day each week that both of you are available for and have that be your one-on-one time. Date nights can be extremely effective in fitting your loved one into your hectic schedule. It can be something as simple as dinner at home with a movie, stopping by the Barnard store for a $10.50 AMC ticket, a night out at Mel’s burger spot, or a nice dinner at Melba’s.

Small Tokens of Appreciation

These tokens, or gifts, do NOT need to be expensive. Simply bringing a bagel from Absolut Bagels to your partner can be sufficient enough. The occasional flowers, or written poem will bring a smile to their face. I gave my partner a handmade butterfly shaped book with reasons why I love them and they treasure it greatly. Tokens of appreciation can also come in the form of service, like helping your partner with anything that stresses them out. 

Words of Affection

Simply telling your partner each day that you love them and appreciate them goes a long way. We all have very busy lives, and have our heavy hardships. Hearing from a loved one that you are loved, cared for, thought of, etc. can really change one’s day. Even leaving a note behind for your partner to find can be really cute.

Space

This may seem odd to add, but in a relationship you both still are individuals with your own lives and responsibilities. It is extremely important to maintain that aspect of your life. You are a being outside of your relationship. Letting your relationship dominate your life, can have severe consequences. For instance, friends of yours may feel a distance growing between you and them. Love yourself and remember to give yourself “me” time.

Spice Things Up!

This doesn’t have to pertain to just what you and your partner do in bed (but I do highly suggest being curious and remaining in a constant state of positive consent). Gaining a routine with your partner is completely normal, but it can sometimes feel boring. If you always do the same things together, it might be the time to change. Find an activity that you both enjoy, like painting together on a piece of cardboard or playing a new game at Hex&Co, instead of just staying in.

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Caitlin Kontaridis

Columbia Barnard '25

A junior at Barnard College, studying psychology and writing. I just transferred from the New School, and I am thrilled to join this big friendly community. I have always enjoyed writing in my spare time and am extremely glad to use this platform to share my thoughts. My outside academic passion is fashion and predicting fashion trends. I love to find free events or activities within the city, and creative events to meet others. I’m hoping my articles connect with audiences who are interested in finding new things to do in New York City, are feeling lonely, need friendly advice, and fashion forecasts.