I begin a lot of articles with rigorous research (Wikipedia), and this one, being of dire importance for the delusional masses, was no different. First, a Google search informed me that the top result for “spring fling” is the University of Arizona’s annual carnival put on by Greek life (we are all at the wrong school!). When I discovered that the term “Spring Fling” wasn’t on Wikipedia, I came to the conclusion that it didn’t exist.
Now in all seriousness, a lack of information on this subject is bad news. It’s likely to lead to something like you calling that one guy 15 times leaving drunk voicemails at 3:30am, like “Who the F**K is this girl Lauren that I see you signed into McBain?? I thought we were TOGETHER!” You can throw away those destination-wedding brochures now because here are some telltale signs that it’s just a spring fling.
• If you refer to him as “slam piece”…The “slam piece” is my personal favorite form of endearment for that guy you keep on a fairly regular rotation. Your texts with him are heavily concentrated between the hours of midnight and 3AM, but you’re friendly during the occasional daytime run-in. He’s a good time, and he’s convenient, but you’d rather watch your screensaver change colors than get to know this kid’s aspirations. If you couldn’t care less about his activities outside of the bedroom, if you’re more likely to refer to him as “slam piece” than his actual name, it’s probably just a spring fling.
• If his friends don’t know your name…or if your friends don’t know his, he probably doesn’t play a very important role in your life. Similarly, if you wake up in the morning and have to ask what his name is…repeatedly…let’s just call that a spring fling.
• If he has a girlfriend… This just shouldn’t be happening. I’m not going to get into the levels of delusional that you need to be if you think that this is going to work out. Guys are (usually) not smart enough to play mind games. If he liked you, he’d be with you.
• If you met him in Cabo…or wherever you went for Spring Break. You found love in a hopeless place (on top of a table at a club, onstage at the beach). Maybe you held hands at the restaurant with the unlimited tequila, and made plans to meet up every night of break. Maybe you even found each other on Facebook after your love was torn asunder by the fact that he goes to University of Arizona and will be attending the fun Spring Fling, while you study for your 4th midterm. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Even if “Kyle from Cabo” attempts to maintain a relationship via text, it’s probably best to give up the dream and accept that this was just a spring fling.
• If you’re not exclusive…I don’t mean “not exclusive…yet, but hope to be/probably will be soon.” I mean not exclusive as in you’re lying in bed with Matt sending a text to James like “hey, sorry I’m in the library. Tomorrow night- 1AM, my place?” If you’re enjoying playing the field, and you don’t have any intention of seeking commitment from the people you’re involved with, it’s a spring fling.
• If you haven’t even thought about summer…If you have serious feelings for this person, you’ll be wondering about the summer. You’ll probably be asking yourself where he’s going to be, and whether or not you two will move forward with your relationship. If this is a spring fling, you’ll be wondering about the summer too. You’ll be finalizing the details of your internship and living situation, creating a tanning schedule, and wondering whether it’s too aggressive to ask your friend from a state school to set you up with his hot friend in London.
A spring fling, like any seasonal fling, is low-key and temporary, but more fun because it rhymes, and because it’s warm, so you don’t have to hike through a snowdrift during your morning-after stride of pride. However, it’s important to keep checking in with yourself. If you start to develop feelings, you need to assess whether or not you two have the potential to be more than a “fling.” Take note if the daytime texts are becoming more frequent, and indicate an interest in something other than your body. Do you both linger when you’re hanging out and enjoy each other’s company, rather than throwing your clothes on at 7AM and ninja-crawling out of the room to avoid any unnecessary verbal interaction? If so, there’s a chance that something might be developing (other than your urgent need to rip off your clothes as soon as the temperature rises above 60 degrees #eastcoastproblems). If you’re unsure where things are going, play it safe, and do less. It’s all fun and games until you’re posting pictures of you two on Facebook and telling everyone who will listen how serious you’re getting while he’s making moves on your suite-mate. Listen to other people when they tell you how the situation appears to them. If you keep a spring fling in perspective, it can make for an awesome semester, and your friends won’t have to do this to you.