And so, we begin.
We, the class of 2019, are moved in and freaking out. Say hi to us. We’re the ones cowering in the lunchroom, walking into the wrong classrooms, or not walking into any class at all because where in God’s name is Knox Hall?!
But, as anyone who has ever gone to college will tell you, the beginning is hard.
Whereas my high school experience was filled with endless opportunities, doors always opening and faces always smiling, my college commencement has so far been fraught with a great amount of rejection. I have always been encouraged to “put myself out there” and pursue a passion. I tried that. What was successful in high school is not going to work out for me this semester.
I tried out for ten theater groups and was rejected from each one—each one emphasizing that my rejection was by no means an assessment of my worth or talent. They said that they were impressed by my audition (though clearly not enough) and encouraged me to try out again next semester (As if!).
My email was flooded with these rejections for my first two weeks of college. It was absolutely devastating. I felt like I didn’t have a place here. Like every other Barnard student, I was a leader in my high school; I was in charge of things. And it felt earth shattering to lose that. With no sense of belongingness, I felt deserted. Where was the Barnard that enticed me with its warm, friendly, intellectually invigorating life?
Though I am writing this only four weeks in, I have begun to learn different methods of how to deal with my rejections that I hope can resonate with some of my readers.
(This list is by no means exhaustive, but it is a start. I cannot tell you what will work for you, but can only share what I have found helpful.)
1. Find Something You’re Passionate About
This point is key. You’re in college and, though it may or may not have been your top choice, you made it and that’s what counts. But no one tells you that it’s just the first step. If you are like me and are a maniac about finding something to get yourself involved with, then find it. Literally go and find it. Like, right now. Stop reading this article. Though it may not be easy to find, there is a club (most likely many) looking for your fresh mind.
2. Relax
It’s the beginning, there’s a lot happening— it’s easy to get caught up in the turmoil. Find your relaxation method, whether that be reading, writing, watching TV, exercising, eating, brushing your hair, looking at a wall, talking with friends…the list is endless.
3. Cry
It’s a difficult time. Yes, you made it to Barnard—the college of your dreams, located in the best city in the world—but that doesn’t mean it won’t be difficult. It’s okay to wallow in that for a bit, but try not to let it swallow you whole.
4. Talk to the First Person You See
Chances are, that person is having a difficult time too and we all know misery loves company—but hopefully, not enough to stay. In due time, misery may be tired by your company and leave you with your new friend.
My fellow newbies, we are in this together. We are all a little (or a lot) scared, lonely, and homesick. We are all rushing to acclimate only to realize that that is not something that can be rushed. Comfort demands time. And as frustrating as that is, it’s all we’ve got. So, give yourself time. You are not in this experience alone.
Miriam Lichtenberg is a freshman in Barnard majoring in ‘whoknowswhat.’ She loves eating Ice Cream and Watching Parks and Rec. Seriously, if you see someone sitting alone in John Jay watching TV, it’s probably her. Say hi. Or email at mrl2161@barnard.edu because she would love to hear from you.