1. I spent yet another Valentine’s Day alone with the gift package my parents sent me…so my new goal is to have a bae before May. Where do I start?
Firstly, I hope your gift package was an Edible Arrangement fruit basket because those things are dope (but only the ones with chocolate…if there’s no chocolate dipped strawberries, then why bother sending it in the first place?)
So, you want a bae before May. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate your priorities, girl. You are a strong, independent lady (or dude or whatever!) who is just fine on your own, thank you very much. My motto is: unless you’re Ben Higgins, you can keep your damn roses. Who ACTUALLY likes flowers anyway? One time in high school, I received flowers. I promptly placed them inside my locker to die. Legend has it they are still there to this day.
2. My best friend just a met a guy through Tinder, but I’m really not about that app. JSwipe and Hinge come highly recommended, but I’m apprehensive. Thoughts?
MOM, STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO JOIN JSWIPE!
On the off-chance that this isn’t Carol^ up to her usual tricks, I will attempt to answer this question as best I can. As someone who has seen approximately all 215,408 episodes of Law and Order: SVU, I know just how dangerous these apps can be and ask you to follow these three rules for your own safety.
1. Don’t show your face in any photos. Apparently, the FBI, the NSA, the NYPD, and the IHOP all have facial recognition programs nowadays. I imagine it’s pretty easy for a super stalker-hacker to get a hold of these algorithms (?) and use them to find your exact location. To avoid this, only post pictures of ambiguous body parts. Perhaps a sexy elbow shot? Maybe a seductive earlobe?
2. Adopt a pseudonym. Think “Regina Phalange” or something along those lines.
3. Take your real age and add 20 years. This should put you at around 40, which, according to my doorman, is the sexiest age a woman can be.
Remember, this isn’t catfishing. It’s being smart!
3. This semester I’ve done way better at being on top of work. Lots of hours in Butler. But I’m starting to feel burned out, and it’s only the beginning of midterms. Any advice for keeping the momentum alive when you’re feeling burnt out?
If you are spending hours and hours on end in Butler, then of course you’re going to be burned out. It is not healthy to avoid sunlight for that many hours (@Samantha). Honestly, it seems like you’re pulling a Miley, aka: Trying Just A Little Too Hard. You need to dial it down a bit and relax. If that means dropping a class, meditating like a dirty hippy, or having a donut with every meal, then DO IT.
Remember, your physical and mental well-being comes first. School second. Duh.
**Disclaimer: This is a personal piece and does not necessarily reflet the views of Her Campus Media.