1. Thou shall not steal
A friend of mine once had roommates who used to “borrow” her clothes without asking. Without returning them. Without owning up. Without apologizing. One of them even stole her underwear. Do not do this.
2. Thou shall invest in noise cancelling earphones
If I’m going to hear you watching a movie, you might as well invite me to watch it with you.
3. Thou shall not be passive aggressive
Passive aggression arises when there is a breakdown in communication and it can get really nasty. A close friend of mine once came home to find trash dumped on her bed and was even purposefully locked out of the room (obviously two separate occasions). If you find my behavior so personally offensive plese just tell me because fake smiles and little lies won’t make me stop leaving my socks on the ground. But in all seriousness, let us agree, the whole thing is childish and beneath us.
4. Thou shall clean the shower after each use
Or else someone will eventually have to pick a squirrel size ball of hair out of the drain
5. Thou shall not be a gossip girl
I vent plenty, but there should be a tacit code of discretion between roommates. It’s part of the sacred roommate bond. Basically what I’m saying is everybody should be able to watch Blue Valentine and cry into a pillow without having to explain himself or herself to anybody (or read about it on twitter!)
6. Thou shall be mindful of 8 ams
My first year roommates and I were like night and day. Literally. Two of them, biomedical engineers, woke up at 5am for morning crew practices. My optimal hours of productivity are between 10pm and 2am and my other roommate would regularly sleep till 2pm after coming back from the library at 4am. Heads would’ve rolled if we hadn’t taken the extra five minutes to tiptoe around the room or let the door slam.
7. Thou shall not covet thy roommate’s space
Territorial expansion is not permitted. This includes dirty clothes, dish hoarding (soooo guilty of this one…sorry guys), 3am sexiling, and slobbing it up in common areas. If you leave a glob of peanut butter on the floor, let me assure you, it will become lord of the flies in here. Clean it up, Piggy.
8. Thou shall not become a sloth
If you hit it once, I get it, it happens, but if you’re not going to get up till 10, don’t set your alarm for 8.
9. Thou shall not be a stranger
So you and your roomie aren’t buddy-buddy, but that doesn’t mean you have been exiled into isolation. A little chitchat now and then never hurt nobody! And if we run into each other around campus be cool and say hey. Just wave. Smile. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.
10. Thou shall be chill
If you are going to cry over spilled milk (not just the figurative kind), then get ready for a stressful year because everybody, even the Queen, has off days. Maybe your roommate is preoccupied with problems at home or had a tiff with a significant other and that’s why they seem to be giving you the cold shoulder. It’s possible that they really just don’t like mornings. No need to take it personally.