It’s currently the season of ‘love’ and Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. As a single and very independent woman in her sophomore year of college – a time when hook up culture permeates the campus – I’m not always an optimist when it comes to the topic of love. However, my perspective on love, and even Valentine’s Day, has shifted a lot in the last year.
When I think about previous Valentine’s Days, I remember how caught up I was in what I thought the holiday was supposed to be about: being in a romantic relationship and being in that kind of love. Well, after some reflection, I realized it really doesn’t matter if you’re single or not. There’s other important relationships in my life, such as my friends and family, that should be celebrated and given just as much attention as romantic relationships. Why should Valentine’s Day only be about romantic love? What about familial, platonic, and even self-love? Your worth goes beyond a coupled-up Instagram story.
I don’t think you need another person to be happy. Happiness can come from within yourself, and I tend to forget that at times, but you truly do not need a romantic relationship to be fulfilled in life. We hyperfixate on the love we lack, say, romantic love, rather than focusing on the love we already have in our lives – whether it’s our family, friends, or pets. Once I stopped defining love according to society’s definition, I found myself cherishing the love I already had much more and appreciating the different communities I am a part of.
Coincidentally, and unintentionally, I’m currently reading a book called Conversations On Love by Natasha Lunn. I highly recommend it. Maybe get it as a Valentine’s Day gift for yourself! The first part of the book begins with a quote from M. Scott Peck that really resonates with me: “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived.” This is exactly the kind of mentality I’m going into Valentine’s Day with this year and beyond.
Again, do not fret if you don’t have that someone special to spend Valentine’s Day with this year. Here are some ideas of what to do instead:
- Show appreciation for your friends with a Galentine’s Day celebration! My friends and I are doing a Cupid exchange this year; specifically, we all got each other jellycats. We’re also doing a potluck dinner and making heart-shaped pizzas.
- Make your friends a card! Cardmaking is so fun and a great way to tap into your creative side. My mom and I always exchange cards on Valentine’s Day. It’s a small gesture that goes a long way!
- Tell someone you value in your life how much they mean to you, whether it’s via a letter, text, or phone call.
- Treat yourself. Whether you buy yourself a coffee, box of chocolates, bottle of wine, or flowers (in the spirit of Miley Cyrus).
- Get cozy for a chill night in and read a book or watch something that makes you happy. You deserve a relaxing night of self-care.
- Lastly, take yourself out to dinner. If couples can do it, you can too. I know it’s easier said than done, but you never know until you try.
After some much needed reflection, it’s safe to say that Valentine’s Day can be for everyone, not just people in romantic relationships. With that, I wish you a very happy Galentine’s Day from St. Andrews, Scotland!