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Zack Simon

Year: 2013
Dorm: Alfond Senior Apartments
Favorite dining hall: Dana
Hometown: Winchester, Massachussettes
Relationship status: Single and ready to mingle
Three things you can’t live without: Oceans, cap guns, things that bounce
Interests: Just magnets
Favorite Movie: The Princess Bride
Favorite Song: Any Nickelback song
Favorite Book: The Count of Monte Cristo
Favorite Professional Athlete: Wayne Rooney, he has great calves

What do you do on campus?
I’m pretty uninvolved in any campus activity.

What’s one girl trend you don’t understand?
Sweat shorts, they don’t make any sense to me. They lack both the warmth and knee coverage sweat pants offer. Cover up your knees if you’re going to be walking around everywhere.

What do you look for in a girl?
My only requirements in girls are no tattoos and she should be shorter than me, but these are extremely flexible depending on how good the tattoos look and how much the girl decides to emasculate me. In terms of character, the girl should not only like animals, but they should like her. It is never a good sign when animals hate you.

If you had to be handcuffed to one person at Colby for the rest of your life, who
would it be and why?

Julia Knoeff, because she is a beautiful Dutch princess.

What’s your most embarrassing moment?
Freshmen year, loudness 2-4AM, Sunday.

What’s your favorite pick-up line?
I don’t use lines; I use plays
Step 1: Rent dog
Step 2: Meet girl(s)
Step 3: Be dawg

What do girls like best about you?
My olive skin tone, my beautiful eyes, my charming hair, my handsome muscles, my strong hands, my sensitive touch, my toned calves and my humility.

How did your first kiss go down?
I was in a slide.

If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?
To wherever Julia Knoeff is.

What’s one piece of advice you would give to freshmen girls?
Girls: Stay away from my roommate, Trevordactyl.
Guys: Go to gym and get huge.

What’s the first CD you ever bought?
Mambo No. 5 – Lou Bega.

If you had a daughter, what would you name her and why?
Brittney, after my favorite singer.

What kind of shampoo do you use?
T-gel keeps out the flakes. It also holds .5% tar, which is just the right amount.

Finish this sentence: if you really knew me, you’d know that…
My three biggest fears are sliced pineapple, pickles, and talking to a beautiful girl.

Eliza hails from Cambridge, MA. She is a senior English major with a concentration in creative writing at Colby College. She has been working with Her Campus Colby since it launched. At Colby, she is also mentors a little girl twice a week and cooks at the Mid Maine Homeless Shelter. She knows more about sports than most boys-- especially Boston sports-- her one true love. But she also has a passion for classic literature, fashion, and modern art.
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