Year: 2013
Dorm: West Quad
Favorite Dining Hall: Bobs
Major: Economics
Hometown: Wayzata, MN
Relationship Status: single
Three Things You Can’t Live Without: Friends, cheap beer, and dogs
Interests: Skiing, sport hunting, and mud logging
Favorite Movie: Clerks
Favorite Song: “Quack Like a Duck” by G.O.A.T. and Your M.O.M.
Favorite Book: The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles
Favorite Professional Athlete: Randy Moss
What do you do on campus?
Anything but homework.
What’s one girl trend you don’t understand?
The lack of interest in making sandwiches.
What do you look for in a girl? How about a deal breaker?
I like girls who are intelligent and have a good sense of humor. However, if they don’t have a good set of teeth, then that’s a deal breaker.
If a girl offered to make you dinner, what would you ask her to cook?
Poncho dogs.
What’s your most embarrassing moment?
When my teammates found out I used to be on a synchronized swim team.
What’s your favorite Colby memory?
Hiking/Skiing Tuckerman’s Ravine.
What’s #1 on your Colby bucket list before you graduate?
Getting a kiss from Pam in the dinning hall.
What’s your ideal party theme, and what would you wear to it?
Sweatpants and Viagra party.
How did your first kiss go down?
Very toothy and I ended up with a bloody nose.
What’s cooler than cool?
Jim Ryan’s Ego.
If you had to be handcuffed to one person at Colby for the rest of your life, who would it be and why?
Justin Sperry because he already has the handcuffs ready to go.
What’s your favorite piece of ski lingo?
Calling other skiers “joe-bags” because it really brings out my Minnesotan accent.
What was the best part about being a Colby alpine skier?
How the skin tight suits made my ass look.
Which rapper would best tell your life story and why?
Probably Bangs cause I too love taking women to the movies.
What kind of shampoo do you use?
Crew 3-in-1.
What piece of advice would you give to freshmen girls? What about freshmen boys?
Freshmen Girls: stay away from Craig Marshall. Freshmen Boys: also stay away from Craig Marshall.
What are you most excited for after graduation?
The five days I have between graduation and the start of my job.
What’s your spirit animal and why?
Gibbon monkey. Power, grace, perversion.
If you could change the Colby mascot, would you? And if so, to what?
I wouldn’t change it because we’re already a bunch of asses.