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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Colby chapter.

Dear Gender,

Hi, it’s me again. I know, I know, 

I said I’d stop bothering you, 

but you haven’t stopped bothering me, 

so I think this is only fair.

Is that petty? It feels petty. 

I don’t care because you don’t care 


Gender really doesn’t care what I think.

Hey Gender, 

Remember when I used she/her pronouns?

Yeah, that was funny. 

I remember getting a pink sweater for Christmas

And crying because that soft pink fabric made me

Face the fact that “female” wasn’t 

All it was cracked up to be.

That was a little less funny.

Hi Gender, 

When they wrapped that pink blanket 

Around me in the hospital, and 

Introduced me to the world as “baby girl”

Do you think they saw that tear-stained sweater?

What’s up Gender, 

I wish I could explain 

That I’m a girl because I carry 

Tampons all day, every day,

But I’m not a girl because

I’m not some man’s prey. 

I’m a girl when I love my girlfriend 

And that makes me gay

But I’m not quite a “she” completely

Just like I’m not quite a “they”.

I’m a girl because I have a uterus

They’re trying to take away

But I’m not when my chest 

Is just getting in the way.

To Gender, 

Does that stuff sound small to you?

I don’t care. It adds up.

But you know what?

Nothing matters.

To you, nothing is real. 

You saw a reproductive system

And made it an aspect of identity

When in reality it’s just biology.

I hereby separate you from sex, 

From what exists between someone’s legs, 

And I declare you what you are:

A crisis of our own creation. 


I will not explain myself to you again. 

I will not justify

What makes me feel safe in my skin

Or how I can have a day 

In that pink sweater 

And spend the next in layered sports bras. 

I will not walk you through 

The process through which 

You dragged me, 

Kicking and Screaming and Crying, 

Forcing yourself as part of my identity. 

You are not my identity.



Alexandra is a junior at Colby College (abroad in Edinburgh for Fall 2023) who loves guitar, dogs, and volleyball. She's an intended Computational Psychology major with minors in English and Philosophy. She's from Connecticut and absolutely loves the winter, so she's very happy to be in Maine!