When I first toured Colby in high school, I remember learning about Colby Cares about Kids (CCAK) and getting excited about the opportunity to join. I was thrilled to sign up right when I got to campus and meet my mentee in November. I have had such a positive experience, and that made me want to apply to be on the Student Advisory Board. As an SAB, I help out with the application process and thought I would share five things to know as a new mentor.
- Consistency is Important
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Through my time mentoring, I have learned that the act of merely showing up is immeasurable. Growing up, my parents always emphasized the importance of attendance, making a commitment, and following through with it. I think this is very important, especially when working with little kids. Every Friday at 11 is I walk into Winslow Elementary to spend time with my mentee, Mikayla. Every Friday, she acts as though she is surprised to see me even though I come at the same time every week. She knows that I will be there every Friday, and she tells me that it’s always something that she looks forward to. I am not going to lie; there are some Fridays that I wake up and feel too tired to go, but every time I make sure to push myself to go because I know it’s so important to be a good example and show my mentee I will be there for her.
- Trust takes time
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I knew this going into mentoring, but for some reason, I believed that my mentee would tell me everything about her life right away. I was under the impression that I would show up, and she would immediately need my help. However, this was not the case, we spent most of the first few months together talking about her favorite kind of dolls, or what she was learning in school. Originally, this made me feel as though I was doing something wrong. However, as I got to know her better, she started to discuss her family and the hardships in her life. We have built a relationship where she knows I will be a listening ear and give her the best advice that I can. Now I know that we just needed to built trust first and I am glad that she feels comfortable to be vulnerable with me now
- Let them fight their own battles
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As a mentor, it’s easy to feel obligated to want to help sort out all of your mentee’s hardships for them. Hearing about their struggles and feeling helpless is hard; however, they need to learn practicing resilience and conflict resolution. There are going to be moments when your mentee will be in a fight with a classmate, and you’ll want to jump in, but you have to try to let them resolve the conflict alone. Rest assured though, just your presence by itself will give them the confidence and empowerment they need to manage solving problems on their own.
- Go the extra mile
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While consistency is critical, extra effort also goes a long way. It doesn’t have to be buying them elaborate gifts or showing up for hours on end. But going to your mentee’s holiday concert or writing them a card on their birthday goes a long way and makes them feel special. As an SAB member, I emphasize this to new mentees. While showing up for one hour a week is the minimum requirement, doing extra shows you really care. During finals season, it’s easy to get stuck in the library and feel obligated to study all the time. But one of the best decisions that I made was to take a break and spend an hour at my mentee’s holiday concert. Just the look on her face made the extra effort worth it.
- Enjoy Yourself
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I go to visit my mentee every Friday, and every time, it’s one of the best parts of my week. Don’t be afraid to embrace your inner child. Running around on the playground with your mentee and playing board games bring out the kid in everybody. It’s a great stress reliever, so embrace your little buddy and enjoy your time with them! Remember that your presence alone makes them feel wanted and the more in the moment you are, the better your relationship will become.