“Hey Google, Can you play Get the Party Started by Pink on Spotify?”
The coming out process is weird. I think that the coming-out scene in the movie Love, Simon is the perfect example of how strange the whole process is. The scene is basically where all of the straight characters come-out to their parents. The parents overreact and make a big deal out of it. Like parents do when their child comes out as not straight. I mean, we live in such a heteronormative world that having feelings for someone of the same gender is seen as weird and poses for a grand reaction. Why can’t people just be people? But, alas I have succumbed to the 21st century LGBTQ+ right of passage. I am bisexual.
Before I explain what bisexuality means to me, I want to give a little bit of background about why I am choosing to come out. Honestly, the world is a terrifying place. After the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando, Florida in 2016, I decided that I wanted to come out. I didn’t want my friends and family to find out from a coroner or chaplain from the police department that I wasn’t straight. I want my friends and family to know. I want to be the one to tell them. Not them finding out after an unspeakable act against my community that has cost me my life.
I remember hearing about the terrorist attack from a classmate while sitting in homeroom the morning after it happened. I was in disbelief. I could not believe that it happened. I made a promise to myself that I would come-out when I felt comfortable with whatever label I chose to identify with in the future. This is the future and I am a bisexual cisgendered woman.
Bisexuality for me may be different than what bisexuality is for someone else who has the same identity. To me, I am attracted to people that are like me and not like me. I do not discriminate against genders. To me, it is not about what gender you choose to identify as. I know that there are multitudes of gender identities and am attracted to all genders that are like mine and different than mine.
Some people may say that, based on my definition of bisexuality, I am actually pansexual. Where this might be true, I choose to label myself as bisexual. I believe that gender and sexuality are fluid and having more of a broad way to define my sexuality makes it easier for not only myself to understand, but also other people.
The actual act of coming-out is nerve-wracking. You never really know how people are going to react which is the reason why people wait to do it. As nerve-wracking as it might be, it is also liberating. A weight is lifted from your shoulders and you can be more ‘authentically you’. If you don’t feel ready to come out, don’t feel pressured to do so. If you have to tell someone just to hear the way it sounds, pets are perfect. They will love you no matter what. And if you come out and it doesn’t turn out the way you expected, just know that you have a community that will support you. The Trevor Project also has a chat and text number in case you are in crisis. Just know that you are loved and accepted no matter your gender or sexuality.