Freshman year. The year where you begin your life, begin what you want to do, and begin how you want to be perceived. Although nobody needs a relationship in college, 63% of college women hope to find a partner/spouse in their college years. Since over half of women hope to find a long term partner in college, it’s important to discuss how to maintain a relationship and what to do if you encounter a breakup.
Coming from someone who is in a relationship with someone I met before college, relationships take effort. When you begin having a different schedule, new friends, and new living situation it can be difficult to still carve out time for your partner. A good idea is to have a designated time when you facetime your significant other every day or every few days. This keeps a healthy communication going, which is one of the biggest reasons for arguments especially in this transition period. The first year is hard and it is important to let your partner know how you are feeling. Some phrases to help start conversations about your feelings include: “Hey, I know I may be snippy or short today and it’s because of _______.” or, “I’m really stressed about _______, can we talk it through” or even, “Hey, can I get your advice on _______.” No matter how busy classes or activities get, always make time to discuss relationships. It is normal to have days where you fight, are mad at each other, or are stressed. Although, at the end of the day, the happiness your partner gives you should greatly outweigh the negative. In addition, these conversations do not end with your partner, as they extend to the people around. Make sure you always have permission from roommates/suitemates to have a significant other over at the dorm. Remember that your dorm has others living there and to not abuse the trust of those people. Something helpful to do is to put yourself in your roommate’s shoes. This helps you realize how you would feel if they had their significant other over at certain times. If you communicate and put in the effort, you will see the results.
Although effort can be put in for a healthy relationship in college, it is important to acknowledge that some people are not meant to be together. Breakups happen all around college campuses. A lot of freshmen breakups may deal with long distance, differing morals, opposing schedules, and more! I truly believe if you are meant to be with someone then it will be. This is why it is so important to trust the process. Some people may come into your life for a certain season and maybe you just needed them at that time. Life is a journey, and you will graduate your senior year and finally realize “This person was in my life for _____ and I don’t need them now because of ____.” One thing I have even done in the past when I am sad about the end of a relationship is to journal about it. Some good topics you could write about could include: what you want for a future relationship, your strengths/weaknesses, and why you think that person was in your life. A relationship never happens by chance, even if you currently do not favor the person. It is important to recognize the reasons why things happened the way they did so it can bring closure.
Some other advice in getting through a breakup includes surrounding yourself around a good friend group, and getting involved in different activities around campus. These activities can include clubs, organizations, sports, working out, internships, or a job. Most importantly, try to look at the positives. Maybe you will realize that a breakup was needed so you could focus on your new college life, mental health, or finding a new passion. Everyone NEEDS to find themselves and be confident in their relationship or not. With the strength of yourself and the people around you, you will get through it!