We all have stereotypes. Whether we like to admit it or not, you judge someone the moment you see them and the moment you find out something new about them. This can be good, bad, or even determine your future with the person. So what do you think when someone says, “I’m a college virgin”?
Girls and guys differ in the ways they have to deal with these labels. Most of the time, guys are revered for having scored a lot of girls or chastised for never scoring. Girls get the opposite treatment. Beware: if you have never slept with anyone by a certain age, you will most certainly be alone forever. Why do we place so much emphasis on this?
Well, lucky for you, I can tell you how people react. Although I don’t share my virgin status with just anyone, I can tell you what people tend to think about it. You may have some of the same thoughts. “That’s a shame.” “She must not be able to get anyone.” (Especially since you don’t even get to know what I look like.) “Obviously, she’s a prude.” Those are just a few examples to get your mind going. So to dispel some of these statements, let me fill you in.
First of all, just because I am a virgin doesn’t mean I haven’t seen a guy’s ding dong before. I promise you that I have. You might change the label from ‘prude’ to ‘tease,’ but I have definitely had “hook-ups,” just no sex. I’ll spare you the details of how far I have gone. I get so tired of people just asking why that is the case and honestly, I don’t know. It just never felt right to go that far with someone. Secondly, I enjoy being single and not having the pressure of a significant other, especially in college. I’ve always been very independent and I feel like people think that is some façade I put on. Could I walk out the door and get a boyfriend or even a one time hook-up? Sure. But I’m not compromising finding the right person just to have some company for a while. Third, I’m not going to lie to you all. Nothing about interacting with the opposite sex comes easy when I am attracted to them. I get too awkward to function in most cases. I don’t think this has made me miss out on much. Did I miss out on a great guy due to my klutzy actions and words? It is possible, but I have never looked back and regretted that I did not end up with someone. When it is meant to happen, it will. These gawky moments of mangled words with the opposite sex must have taught me something. Once I find that one special person, I have a feeling I will fall hard and fast.
Of course there is an exception to any rule. I’m sure we have some people at CNU that have never kissed anyone and that’s okay. Vice versa, there are people who have done the deed with a plethora of people and more power to them. I guess what I want people to realize out of this article is that we are not defined by how many people we have hit home runs with. It is so stressed in our culture today that we are defined by our “number.” It is the same as every label you decide to put on people, consciously or not. As Ellen DeGeneres would say: be kind to one another. Would something so silly really change your opinion of me? Good thing you will never find out who I am ;)
Yours Truly,
The Virgin Next Door