Major: The Government and The Economy too!
Relationship Status: Single*** AND READY TO MINGLE!!!! UH-OH! THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW THIS ARTICLE IS ABOUT TO BE TRILL
Year: Senior
Hometown: Yorktown, Va., though I’m really more of a world citizen.
Hold your applause
How are you involved on campus?
I am a 3rd year Resident Assistant in Rappahanock River Hall, a lab researcher at The Wason Center, involved in WCNU Radio, and am currently writing my own Campus Cutie entry at Her Campus. As a matter of fact, go read my other articles here, here, here, and here.
What interested you in Her Campus?
I saw they did ‘Campus Cutie,’ and I said, “Wow, I need to be that.” Unfortunately due to my bird-like features and mannerisms I was never asked. So I’ve worked my way up through the trenches earning the respect of my fellow writers by making the cutest Buzzfeed worthy listicles I could muster. Now it’s my turn. I’m in the driver’s seat, and I’m steering this renegade ship straight for the ‘Skip is cute’ archipelago!
What is your favorite holiday?
I know what you’re thinking: “Ohhh, it’s Skip, the kid that wrote a Campus Cutie article about his own self. He must be the DEFINITION of self-centered. I bet his favorite holiday is his own birthday, because this guy has no sense of humility.” THINK AGAIN! My favorite holiday is Halloween. It allows me to tap into my innermost self on a level not normally supported by our so-called “society.” For example, last Halloween I was Sexy Elmo of “Sesame Street” fame. Never had I ever felt so comfortable in my own skin.
What are your career goals?
Well, all my life I’ve just been a little ugly duckling who everyone made fun of for being so terribly hidious, but I’ve got a sneaking suspicion I’m about to get an internship as a beautiful swan. If those don’t work out I’ll probably hang around outside the bank looking all cute n’ sad and hope someone gives me some pity money.
What are your lifetime ambitions?
-I’d like to get gay married some day! I also want to have a family and raise some super cute children through whom I can live vicariously and force into show business.
-I want to publish my memoirs! Prospective titles: “Bird Boy: Tales From a Vain Pheasant,” “Grace Jones‘ Best Friend,” and “Harry Potter.”
-I want to one day be able to do two sumersalts in a row!
What features do you think qualify a CNU student for the ephemeral, yet intoxicating pleasure that comes from being named “Campus Cutie”?
Honestly, I think the best Campus Cuties are those that are well involved on and off campus, politically minded, easy-going, charming, bird-like, and own as many turtleneck sweaters as the climate allows for. Also a Campus Cutie really should own pogo stilts.
Who is your celebrity crush?
Oh, I don’t know…Zachary Quinto is handsome or maybe a younger, swarthier Anthony Bourdain?
Mr. Quinto, you dog. Oh wait, that’s me! Haha, whoops! What a blunder! If only the editor had caught this subtle mix up.
***But really my crush is probably Chris Pratt or something.
What’s something you want people to know about you?
As of this publication, there is a Campus Cutie article written about me! Now if that isn’t impressive, you need to lower your standards. I also just want to put out there that although I am easily the most majestic thing you’ve ever seen doesn’t mean I’m unfriendly. It’s lonely at the top and I’m always welcoming to new friends and unsolicited proposals.
One last question: What’s your personal theme song?
That’s a tough one, me. I guess that’s whay they pay you the big bucks. If you must know it’s gotta be “Nasty” off Janet Jackson’s Control album. The video really captures what it’s like to be around me for an extended period of time.
gimmie a beat!