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What You Should Do This Halloween, Based Solely on Whether it’s a Bones Day or Not

If you’ve been scrolling on TikTok recently, you’re probably very aware of the grip that Noodle the pug has on the masses at the moment. If you aren’t familiar: basically, this 13-year-old pug is very lazy, so if by some miracle, he is able to stand up in the morning, it’s a sign that the day will be productive and high-energy for everyone (aka a “bones day”).

What began as a playful joke has morphed into an obsession; a subgenre of astrology, if you will. A prophecy. People are using this dog’s legs to change the entire trajectory of their day, and frankly, I’m all for it. If we’re going to start altering our lives based on Noodle’s wishes, I think we need to go big or go home. So, here are your plans for Halloween, based entirely on whether Noodle decides to have bones or not on the 31st of October.

Bones Day

Although there is inherent value in both bones and no bones days, I think we can all agree that a bones day on Halloween is the ideal outcome. It will give us a kick of motivation and extraversion that is 100% needed on holidays. And, with all that energy, we’re going to need somewhere to funnel it.

If the ancient pug stands, here are some of the best ways to spend your time this Sunday:

Conjure up a handmade costume

sewing machine with pink measuring tape and blue fabric
Original photo by Johanna Sien

You haven’t bought a costume and want to make one in under an hour using overpriced craft supplies? On a bones day, anything is possible. Money means nothing to Noodle. Buy the fabric and make yourself happy. 

Go to the party

If Noodle has the strength to stand, you have the strength to hang out with people (and have a fabulous time, too)! It’s easy to stay in, but maybe a bones day is the encouragement we need to reach out to friends, plan a little get-together, and live life. Also, make some hors d’oeuvres to bring with you if you’re heading to a friend’s place. Yum. Noodle would like that, I think. Your friends probably would, too.

Buy Candy. All of it. 

Bones days are for indulgence, and again, Noodle has no concept of monetary value. Spend your money like Noodle’s bones depend on it. There is no “should I buy this candy or that one?” today. None of that. Buy them both and eat them simultaneously, kind of like the strawberry and cheese scene from Ratatouille. 

No Bones Day

I know what I said about the bones day, but you know what, this is okay, too. “No bones days” are all about being gentle with yourself and blowing off responsibilities in the name of self-care. Halloween is just one giant self-care holiday, if we’re being honest. Candy, costumes… it’s all for you! Bask in it, baby.

These are ways you can have a magical no bones Halloween:

Pile all your pillows on the living room floor

You don’t have to dress up for Halloween; simply channel your inner Noodle. He always sits on his pillow throne in every video (which by the way, looks incredibly comfortable). It’s time you relax on your own throne. Arrange every pillow you own in front of your TV and let your legs collapse under the soft mountain you’ve created. You deserve it. 

DoorDash Some Candy

Image
Courtesy of DoorDash

Did you think you’d miss out on the candy just because it’s a no bones day? Absolutely not. Let yourself decompress; the candy will come to you through the magic of DoorDash or Instacart. It’s like reverse trick-or-treating! Or, if you have an amazing friend, ask them to bring you some and you two can share. Don’t forget, they’re having a no bones day, too, so you guys can relate while snacking together.

Light a bunch of candles and watch some Halloween classics

Okay, so you have the pillow throne, you have the candy… all you gotta do now is light some fall candles and bask in the ambiance. Maybe throw on a Halloween movie, like The Haunted Mansion or Beetlejuice. This is exactly what Noodle would do if he were human. Be proud.

Sierra is a junior at Christopher Newport University. She is majoring in psychology with intent to receive her masters in teaching. In her free time, she loves thrift shopping, going on Target runs, and caring for all of her plants.
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