Accepting that You don't Always get Closure

Whenever a relationship ends, with any sort of loved one, we tend to get caught up in this idea of getting closure. A neat ending so we understand exactly what went wrong and all of the reasons the relationship ended. But that’s not life. This isn’t a movie script or novel where the characters all have their endings written, with all of the story line laid out so that we can see why some people stayed and others didn’t. I recently went through the loss of a relationship that taught me that accepting the fact that I will never get that closure, is okay.

It’s okay because sometimes the only closure we need is to know that we will be fine without this person. Life will continue to go on, and we may be sad for a while, but one day we’ll wake up, and it won’t hurt so much. And that, in its way, is a form of closure. Because you are recovering from the loss, and you are the only one that matters at this point.

Acceptance can also come from understanding that, just as your life will go on, so we’ll theirs. And that’s also okay. But a form of closure can also come from not obsessing over what they’re doing at this exact moment, or if they miss you as much as you miss them. Maybe they do, maybe they don’t, but you have to let go of them and what their life is like now.

Letting go. Maybe let that be your closure. Because once you have finally let go, moved on, in a way you have gotten closure. You’ve finally turned the page and started fresh, leaving that person in your past, because even though it was hard, you’ve accepted that they’re not going to be part of your future. And as sad as that sounds, this form of closure brings you freedom. Because the memory of them, the wondering what went wrong, what went right, and why the relationship truly ended, weighs you down. So let it go.

In the end, the closure isn’t really what matters. It’s about letting yourself heal from the loss of someone you were close to. It’s about realizing that you will be okay without them in your life. And it’s about moving on so that new relationships can form. Because you may have just lost someone important, but you will eventually meet someone else.

So don’t get too fixated on closure. Accept that it won’t always come in the form you want it to. And accept that that’s okay. Because closure is not what matters; you are.