Whether you are the dumper or the dumpee, a breakup hurts and can be emotionally tolling and painful. It’s normal to be sad and angry after it happens. It doesn’t matter if the summer fling that carried into the school year just ended or if the guy you thought you would marry just ended things: breakups hurt, and ice cream and lazy days can only do so much to ease the pain.
What can you do after a spending your initial post-break up days sobbing into your pillowcase? Once you pass the denial stage, you will probably start to miss your ex like crazy. And that’s OK. In fact, it is completely normal. You may have the urge to call or text him, just to say hi or maybe something a little nastier. But be strong, and resist the urge.
Instead, funnel your negative energy through a positive outlet: turn off your phone and do something. Give your phone to a friend if you’re out. If you know you can’t control your desire to call him, delete his number from your phone (don’t worry—you can give the number to a friend so you can put it back in your phone once you feel ready). Whatever you do, don’t cave! The immediate relief of texting him won’t be worth the stress of trying to decode his response or feeling crappy because he doesn’t respond. Remember: he’s trying to get over you, too! To help you, keep a group of close friends nearby.
Eventually, sadness will set in just a little bit deeper as you go longer without him. This is the perfect time to focus on you. Exercise a little more. For example, you can try a new yoga class or run outside (this winter has been a relatively warm one, after all). Take a moment to smile every day even if it’s just for a few seconds. Smiling in the morning can make a difference in your entire day. And remember, a trip to the freezer for some ice cream never hurts! Soon enough you’ll realize once again that you are amazing, even more so without the guy. As your energy levels increase you’ll feel better about yourself.
After the sadness and loneliness of the breakup finally pass you will begin to accept that you have concluded another chapter of your life. And guess what? That means you get to start a new one. It can be just as exciting as transitioning from high school to college as you realize how much you have to look forward to by hanging out with friends, maintaining yourself and just becoming a better person. And, as you feel great, you will exude confidence. Just like many other transitions, this will be one that forces you to grow as a person and gives you the strength you will need to conquer other obstacles!
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at CMU chapter.