The past two and a half weeks have been rough to say the least. Life took me up by my collar, choked me, swung me around in circles, and flung me to the other corner of the world. I spent the past days experiencing a shattering heartbreak, feeling lost and confused, not wanting to exist anymore, and lied to. But, I couldn’t be happier to have visited hell again. Now I could sit here and pour out all my emotions and thoughts about breakups or heartaches or depression or hardships. But what good does that do any of us? It’s not news to us, right?
I have always been the type to plan just enough for things to not go haywire. I didn’t always need a hundred percent control over everything in my life, but I did always need to know what was going on. If I didn’t know how I was feeling or what were the options I had moving forward, I would lose my mind and become so anxious I give myself panic attacks. I was always looking ahead and praying that what I was doing in the present moment would be beneficial for the future. Needless to say, I am very much a Type A personality.
But then the past year and a half happened. Life threw many surprises at me. It still is at this very moment. After the past week and a half, I’ve learned an insanely valuable lesson and found a completely new approach to my life. I learned to start putting the love I have for this world in the right places: my school work, hobbies, my artwork, my dancing, my passion for music, my sorority sisters and best friends who have unconditionally loved me and put up with me since day one, my family, my career aspirations, and most importantly my mental and physical well-being. Once I am the best version of me, everything else will fall into place. My new approach to life? I can’t constantly sit around and come up with a list of possible future outcomes and then calculate their probabilities. Yes, there are times when I have to fight for what I want. But sometimes I just need to let the universe do its thing. Time is always on our sides whether we know it or not. We just have to have absolute faith, no matter how blind our hope is, in life. While it’s great to have a goal in mind and hope it works out, we can’t constantly let it consume us to the point we lose sight of the grand scheme of things. Just focus on the current 60 seconds, enjoy it, and embrace whatever comes next. If you don’t work on today and indulge in the beauty of precious moments, there is no tomorrow for you to worry about.
I hope you all have a wonderful break! Power through those final! And until spring semester, just remember this: love the right things in your life, especially yourself, and don’t let the moments pass by because you’re too busy looking ahead. Good luck, Lady Tartans!