I was told to do a lot of things before I left for Italy. My mom told me I had to remember to floss every night, my dad told me I should travel all over Europe, while on the other hand, my professor told me I had to remember to travel within Italy, and my friends told me that I needed to eat a lot of pasta and pizzaâŠthat, and I needed to find an Italian man for myself and one to bring back to them. My answer back then was âWell, duhâ but now that I am two months in, hereâs the situation: falling in love with a European is hard!
First of all, and obviously, there is a significant language barrier. Hand motions and eyelash batting can only go so far until you look dumb and stricken with some type of eye disease. Second of all, boys shower here, wear t-shirts that they didnât get at the TOC, and have hair coifs. Like what are you even supposed to do when you encounter a man with a hair coif? I mean if you are me, apparently you blush and then give up, but seriously, where is a 15-110 type course on how to approach good looking European men when you need one?
âNow, wait a minuteâ one of my roommates interjected as I wondered about handsome, well-coifed European men aloud, âWhy do I need to be the one approaching them? What I want to know is why itâs always that creepy old men are always âciao bella-ingâ me on the streets but the cute guys our age arenât tryna holler?â
Itâs true. When I first arrived at Florence, I was shocked at the frequency in which old men would whistle or purse their lips at a group of my friends and me. In fact, I was so taken aback that I often yelled back in response âI COULD BE YOUR GRANDDAUGHTERâ. Nowadays, the wolf whistling while walking out and about sounds no more out of place than birds chirping and cars whizzing by.
My other roommate steps in at this point, âWell, if you think about it, the cute boys want you to approach them first, and then they will flirt incessantly to make up for the not hollering in the first place.â  TouchĂ©. Iâve observed that once a conversation starts here, they go on for quite a whileâŠeven after youâre done talkingâŠfor hours.
I donât really know why I wrote this post. Maybe itâs because I need the people who are asking me âHow are the Italian men???â to clarify. Sigh, the cute ones are fineâŠto look at [badum tish!]. But if you are asking me about the old creepy ones, theyâre still hollerinâ at their friends. And me? Iâve taken to wearing my backpack over my stomach with my jacket zipped over it. If there is one thing that creepy old guys and cute, well-coifed guys agree on, itâs that it is bad form to holler at a pregnant lady. Â