How to Stop Picking the Wrong Guy
So many young women go out on a date with a guy without even really knowing him and then get months into the relationship and ask “Where did I go wrong?” Well, I can help. Ladies, what are your standards? Do you just want a guy to look at you as if you are the only girl in the world? I hope not because 9 times out of 10 other girls are getting that same look. Now, all guys are not like that. However, if your standards don’t change, how will you ever find that one guy who will look at you like you are the only girl in the world?
The first thing to do is stop chasing guys. Often times, the guys we like to chase are the ones being chased by other young women. And if you’re anything like me, you’re selfish and wouldn’t dare share your guy with other young women. Let the right guy chase, and find you. It is not our job as women to chase a guy. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for female empowerment, but the pattern of behavior speaks for itself in the quality of the guy we choose. If you find yourself always chasing the same guy and then he turns out to be the worse decision of your life, you can probably conclude that by you chasing him, you became required to impress him and do for him what he should be doing for you. We are Queens remember?
The second thing to do is focus on yourself. No woman absolutely has to be in a relationship with a guy in order to feel validated. We are Queens! YOU ARE A QUEEN! You are valuable and the cost of the most expensive diamond in the world can’t compare to our worth. Focus on developing long term and short term goals for your life. The best time to do that is during college. Focus on laughing more and meeting new people. Give yourself time to be free and discover who you are and what you want out of life. The right guy will respect your goals and aspirations and try to add to them, not diminish them.
The third thing to do is set relationship standards. If you have been in repeated relationships, or if you haven’t ever been in a relationship, set standards for what you would like to have in your future relationship. For the people that have been in repeated relationships, try to reflect on the mistakes that were made, learn from them and then write out a list of standards that you want to accomplish in the next relationship. Give yourself time to heal, or course, and then as you wait for your soulmate to find you, create a list that reflects what you want and are willing to deal with in a relationship. For example, if you have dealt with cheating, make sure you write at the top of your list that cheating is a deal-breaker. If you haven’t ever been in a relationship, write a list based on what you hope to have in a relationship and develop a list of standards of what you know you are not okay with.
Ladies, it makes no sense to talk about how guys suck if we are going to keep picking the same guys over and over again. If we change our standards, they will adapt and work to meet those standards. We are Queens and we have to act and be treated as such!