Clemson Guy Reveals: Battle of the Textes

I think it’s safe to say that there is no college-aged kid out there who hasn’t engaged in some sort of flirtatious, anxiety-filled, not-quite, sexting. Oh really, you think you’re above it? Well, you’re just doing the whole “Young, Wild and Free” thing completely wrong. Anyways, for the ladies who stare at their iPhone screens puzzled by a text your fling sent you here is some help as well as what your texts mean to us.
                                     
Texts From Guys:

 
“Hey what are you plans for tonight?” or “Party in Chimney tonight”
Hmmm who are some cute girls that I want to see out tonight? Mary? Check. Katie? Yup. Allie? Fo sho. Hmmm gotta go with something generic and yet somewhat causal, can’t seem too eager. Also, gotta be safe with the mass text. Never ends well when two girls find out about each other.
 
“Class is so boring right now” or “Cooper is packed, save yourself the trouble”It’s days like this that I question why I am an engineer. I couldn’t give a crap about any of the mumbly-jumbly this foreign T.A. is talking about. Why are most engineer girls so busted? That girl’s decent- she’s got big boobs. Ya know who else has big boobs, that girl from last weekend. Probably should text her, it’s been long enough and gotta plant the seed for this weekend.
 
“What are you doing? I’m done with work, wanna watch a movie?”
I’m done with school and naturally my next emotion is horny. Wanna come over and make out to the sounds of some insignificant movie playing in the background?
 
“Good luck on your test. I’m sure someone as smart as you will do great” 
She seemed stressed last night when we talked. Better give her a pump up talk to put her in a better mood. Second sentence = genius. Score +1 in the sweetness category.

 
“Wgerf yo u goi?” 
I went to take a piss and now that girl is gone. Damn breaking the seal early. I actually wanted to talk to/ make out with that girl.

Texts From Girls:
 
“Great time meeting you tonight, hope to see you again soon”
Is this a joke? I just said goodbye to you at the party 10 minutes ago, I’m not even home yet. Yeah it was nice meeting you, too, but this reeks of Stage-5 clinger. Gonna let this marinate for a while and maybe respond with a “Ya you too, sorry passed out early last night” text around 5 pm tomorrow.

“HAHAHAH yeah totally HAHAHA”
Really? That’s all you have to say about my hilarious joke? Damn this girl is dumb and not like the dumb where you can push it aside, but the kind where I will now look at her and all I will see is dumb.
 

“[Any words at all] + :) or ;) "
Smiley/winky face. This is clutch.  I can tell a girl is definitely interested when she includes the winky face. Officially bumped up to full time texting status. Sidenote: using a winky face emoticon in every single text message is NOT okay.

“Nudie pic/mirror pic”
This girl is really asking for it. I would do horrible things to this girl that would make my mother ashamed of me…What? Parent’s Weekend isn’t for two months. (Side note.  Nudie pics were funny in 10th grade. If you can’t get a guy to like you without resorting to this, then you need psychiatric help. Nudie pics in relationships however are totally hot and keep things interested, just be careful.)

Photo Sources:
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/2t26/
http://pointlessscribble.blogspot.com/2011/11/drunk-texting.html
http://nicole-forrester.blogspot.com/2011/06/classic-signs-of-bad-guy.html