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Theory as Why Parents Love the Cafeteria, But You Not So Much

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Clarion chapter.

“Maybe we can eat at the dining hall?” This is not a friendly suggestion from my dad every time they come to visit, this is a “we’re eating the dining hall and that’s final” statement. Not going to lie, the dining hall on campus is terrible, simply terrible, but my parents LOVE it. I’ve noticed it’s not just my parents either many parents that visit campus are excited to eat the dining hall when they come up to visit their kids. Here’s my theory on why that seems to be the case.

My theory is we just know too much to be satisfied and content with the dining hall, but I have points to back up my theory.

Point Number One: We eat it every day, therefore, we know exactly what was left over from yesterday or the day before. We saw baked fish the other day and it looked a little rough, then we remembered that the same baked fish was offered the day before, you aren’t getting that by me cafeteria staff.

Point Number Two: My dad loves the cafeteria because it is literally an endless buffet of anything he wants and no one can stop him. I watched him eat six brownies one day after eating three plates and I am struggling over here to digest my salad from the cafeteria.

Point Number Three: We live with college kids. Simple as that and college kids are effin gross. You know that kid over there with the “Clarion Plague” just coughed all over the dessert bar, so that’s a no from me.

(GifBurger)

Point Number Four: We know when the good food gets brought out, yeah that’s right, tour day. I have seen students get excited when the flags come out because they only have class till eleven, that means they can get the chicken nuggets before the high school kids get there and there is no room to move.

Point Number Five: My dad has no idea how awful the food is until we get there. I can read him off a menu, yes, but he truly has no idea what the food tastes like. Sorry dad, that shrimp isn’t real shrimp I’ve read the box.

Point Number Six: For me, it feels like a McDonald’s, the ice cream machine is always broken. It seems to magically work on tour days though. My Wednesday afternoon ice cream cone doesn’t always seem to happen though.

Point Number Seven: It feels like we should be tweeting Gordon Ramsey to rate our schools food one day. Broccili isn’t mush, cafeteria staff, it just isn’t.

(me.me)

Point Number Eight: We eat their pretty much every single day. My dad on the other hand eats their once a semester. Dad, please take me to Apple Bees, Perkins, or hey even Wendy’s as long as it’s free. I am starving and will go literally crazy if I have to eat slightly brown lettuce in my salad one more time.

A past pageant girl who has big dreams of changing the world one day.