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I Don’t Hate Valentine’s Day, But I Prefer Not To Celebrate

I don’t hate Valentine’s Day, I just prefer not to take part in the capitalistic holiday. No, this is not coming from some angry woman who never had a date on Valentine’s Day. In fact, I had a special someone on each of the past 3 Valentine’s Days. I even met the love of my life on a Valentine’s Day!

So, I am going to tell you a little about some of the best Valentine’s Days I had, and how they still never changed my mind on celebrating the holiday.

My very first celebration was with a high school sweetheart. The guy was so sweet and tried so hard. He knew that I always thought black roses were beautiful and unique, so he tried to dye white roses to black (yes, there is actually a way to do that.) He killed those poor flowers. But, when they say that it’s about the thought that counts and not the gift, when you truly believe you love someone and they do something like that, that pathetic little saying is so true. It was probably the sweetest thing anybody had ever attempted for me at that point.

Later on that day, his family was throwing a big going-away party for his older brother joining the military. Remember when I said that I met the love of my life on a Valentine’s Day? Yeah well this was the one, the attempted-black-roses boyfriend.

When I was with the love of my life, after some very odd drama that was non-drama with attempted-black-roses-ex-boyfriend, I remember thinking back on the moment I met him and completely glorifying it to fit a movie-esque picture perfect moment. But really, he just walked into the room. How I fantasized about it with love blind eyes went something like this: It had snowed all morning, coming down relentlessly. A 5-minute drive from my house to attempted-black-roses boyfriend’s house became an hour long ride because of how horrible the snow was. Everyone was trapped in their house. I arrived after work to see that dinner for the party needed a push to get started if it were ever going to be ready on time for the guests. I relieved the sweet mother so that she could get ready before the guests started arriving. Ordering attempted-black-roses boyfriend around as if I was still at work, I got the food ready and was just starting to prep the veggie tray when out of nowhere the front door opens, the sun hits the snow just right to reflect a bright shining light, and in he walks. The man of my dreams slowly appeared walking forward as if in slow motion basked in a white light. He looked heavenly. Instantly, he sat down and started to joke with me. For once, it was love at first sight.

Looking back on it, it could have just been part of the sleep deprivation from having stayed up all night with momma attempted-black-roses to clean the house and then working at 6 a.m. that  caused me to see this holy light. This is nothing against the love of my life. He was absolutely fantastic in every way. He did everything to capture and keep my attention at the party. Even after I set an intoxicated attempted-black-roses-boyfriend to bed, love of my life was still there to keep my attention.

I know what you are all thinking, this story is lame and I am horrible for falling for someone else when I was with someone else. That may be, but these were defining moments for me. I had never experienced a Valentine’s Day where I wasn’t bitter because I didn’t have a boyfriend at the time. Finally, these past 3 Valentine’s Days I had a boyfriend. Love of my life made 2 of them wonderful because of the fact that he knew I hated the holiday. Love of my life knew I was very opinionated and hated the fact that Valentine’s Day was just another day to sell cheap products at expensive rates and claim that it is the only way to show love. So, he convinced me to celebrate the holiday as if it was an anniversary of the first day we met.

Valentine’s Day is wonderful and all when you spend it with the right person, a person who truly gets you. However, Valentine’s Day is just another day that is given special privilege because a bunch of rich people want to gain more money, shame people who do not get their significant other something on the day, enforce a society based on heteronormativity (How many Valentine’s Day adds do you see with homosexual couples?), make someone feel bad about being single on the holiday so they go out and spend money on alcohol and ice cream to console themselves or throw together Galentine’s Day parties to console their groups of friends and give more money to corporate greed, and provide an escape day for people to treat their significant other right compared to the other 364 days of the year.

Like I said, I was very opinionated, so I was lucky enough to have the love of my life understand that and treat me special every day of the year so that Valentine’s Day did not seem out of the ordinary. This year though, I am single on Valentine’s Day. That does not make me sad to say. For the same ranty reasons I just listed, being single on Valentine’s Day does not hurt the way that it hurt when I was younger. It doesn’t hurt at all. I work on Valentine’s Day, so I get to enjoy seeing all of the couples pretend to be happy. Maybe they are happy, but is it only for that one day? But, even if I didn’t work, I would be alright. I would treat it just like any other day and get a bunch of homework done and binge watch Netflix.

I want to stress that if you love Valentine’s Day and want to celebrate it, do not let my views upset or offend you, please. My point throughout all of this is to empower those who may not be too happy about the holiday because they cannot get over being single or lonely on the “holiday.” It helps to see it though a different perspective. It could help someone who is struggling with the loneliness that the holiday pushes on anyone not celebrating it. Yes, it seems like we see more happy couples out on the holiday than any other day, but that’s just because the holiday provides a societal expectation for the couple to stop binge watching Netflix in doors and get dressed to go out and pretend like they aren’t mad at their significant other for watching ahead on the latest binge.

However you celebrate the holiday, just know that love comes from all around every day. Love is not in the air only one day out of the year. Love is in the air all the time. Love is shown through the small things that we all do for each other. Try to recognize that more often, and I promise that you will be much happier. Smile because it happened, not because it ended. 

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