I am single and I have been for so long that my Facebook relationship status hasn’t changed since I joined it (and that was when boot cut jeans were still acceptable). I’d like to say that it’s been good being single. With all this time at my disposal I’ve built up strong friendships, travelled a lot with friends and also by myself, studied Japanese for a year, took acting classes and edited our school magazine.
After school I took a gap year and travelled to New York. I then moved to Vienna before coming to London to study. These are all things that I would have not have done differently even if I had been in a relationship and I am grateful for that. I’ve indulged in all the perks that come with being single: being free to move anywhere I want without having to take someone else’s feelings or interests into consideration, flirting with anybody that turns up in your life and most importantly peace of mind.
I was never bothered about jealousy, open toothpastes or discussions about holiday destinations. I enjoyed getting to know so many people and having all this time to follow my interests. I honed my skills at being single so much that friends even turned to me after break-ups for inspiration for transitioning into ‘single life’. I’ve also acquired a collection of date stories which easily last for an entire girls night.
I have to admit that some of these dates were rather frustrating, but then again wouldn’t my life be boring if I hadn’t been through the embarrassment of going on date with a guy who ordered a glass of milk in a chic cocktail bar? I am still convinced that listening for two hours to another guy’s monologue about all his great achievements and talents has improved my Karma. Even if I happen to have a bad date, I can comfort myself with the fact that at least he didn’t bring his best friend.
Boyfriend abstinence can also be very positive for all kinds of skills development: thanks to lack of male support, I am capable of building together almost any IKEA furniture, opening all kinds of cans and jars and I even learned how to read maps (this skill has to be developed a little bit more, though). But then things changed. Why have all this time for my activities if I can’t share them with someone? I still love having all this time for my friends but wouldn’t I be able to hang out with my best friend all the time if I was in a relationship?
This might also be loosely related to the recent appearance of small wrinkles appearing on my forehead. Finding a boyfriend rocketed right up into one of my top three priorities. Unfortunately no one ever bothered to further develop the Bake-Your-Own-Man Kit, so it’s still inevitable to go out and somehow meet him. But where is he? It’s easy to find someone to have fun with, but for a relationship? Too immature, too boring, too arrogant, not good looking enough – there is always something.
“Your expectations are too high” was the immediate conclusion of my girlfriends. But are they? Fine, I don’t look like a model and I am surely not the most intelligent person on Earth but all the hours behind books hopefully had another side effect apart from my thick prescription glasses (which are normally at home since I wear contact lenses). With a little help from leg-lengthening high heels and a little bit of magic from the beauty box I still achieve some head-turns in the street. Maybe I’m just not trying hard enough?
I almost always take completely men-free fitness classes and I don’t really want to think about substituting my art exhibitions for car shows or football games. Potentially I could also ignore unbearable pain in my feet and go clubbing in my highest heels. But something tells me that this wouldn’t attract the right kind of guy.
Online dating? Nothing against people who do it but it just doesn’t satisfy my romantic side. What am I going to tell my children someday? “And then suddenly your father wrote an email saying: “I really like your blonde hair in your profile and according to the psychological test we are 88.2% compatible.” Speed Dating? I still can’t remember all of my classmate’s names at uni… How is it possible that even post-feminist revolution women’s’ possibilities to pick up men are still so unappealing? My horoscope advises me to “keep my mind cool, clear and open.”
Pictures from FunnyJunk