PSA THIS COULD GET DEEP #THEFEELS.It’s that time again folks. The leaves are changing, weather is occasionally dropping below 80 degrees (therefore I have seen a few Uggs and Northface appearances) #PSL’s are back and riding boots are out. You’ve got it, fall season is upon us. With the weather getting colder, the oh-so-cliché, #cuffingseason, caption has resurfaced . For anyone who has the pleasure of not knowing what this means, here is Urban Dictionary’s definition:“during the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.
Brittany: Why is everyone trying to holla this week like outta no where?Tiara: You know cuffing season is in full effect right?”Brittany: Oh yeah you right. I know I wont be sleeping alone this weekend.”
It shocks me every year how many single girls fall into this trap, and how many guys believe it to be true and practice it. Cuffing season is now comparable to hunting season (atrocious for 2015’s already depressing definition of “dating”). This year, as I have been especially wallowing, I began to truly ponder this concept of “cuffing season.
Yes, every so often, a guy will come around whom you truly like. We all know how it goes- you meet, exchange numbers through a more than likely average pick-up line, and begin the vicious cycle of: Who will text first? Is it bad to double text? Am I being annoying? I don’t wanna be clingy. Am I coming off weird? Oh, God, he thinks I’m psycho. * phone buzz * Okay here responded, wow I’m crazy, he was probably busy * responds in 3 minutes *Though not everyone experiences these crazed thoughts, I know that I personally can fall into this trap. The whole thing is really just exhausting, yet we continue to feed into it as women. The other day, I came across an amazing, life-changing quote from an article on Total Sorority Move (#basic, I know, but what other reference to use when you’re in a sorority?!):
“He won’t take forever and a day to text back if he really likes you. Don’t keep giving into him when he takes hours to reply. He isn’t worth your time. He isn’t dead, his phone isn’t broken, and he’s not climbing a mountain. If he wanted to text you, he’d be texting you. If a guy likes you, he will make time for you. Don’t fall for the f*ckboy who plays those mind games for months just to keep you on your toes. Playing into his ego isn’t worth losing your own self-esteem. He probably isn’t that cute anyway, let’s be real. Sometimes I find myself hyping a guy up to be this freaking awesome dude when in the end, he kind of sucks, like a lot, but you just want someone, anyone. But eventually you’ll realize: don’t be the girl who needs a man, be the girl a man needs.”
These words spoke to me so greatly that I printed it out that second and have it in my room currently- not hanging…. I think that would be a little much….
For me, reading this quote is actually hard. I have to make myself read it. It’s one of those quotes that you know you need, but you don’t want to need it. Something that you know will help you grow, but you just don’t know if you’re ready for it yet. Questioning your self-worth and sense of importance over a guy is truly a tragedy. I find it hard to believe that I’ve even succumbed to this myself, and I still try to convince myself that I’m better than that. I always hear stories of “crazy” females who are literally going mentally insane over a guy, and I never wanted or thought that could be me. The fact that women allow their minds to drift back to one person so often is shocking to me. More so, the fact that it seems to be uncontrollable, it’s something we want to think about, something we want to ponder and figure out- that’s how we are as women, problem solvers and have the drive to want everything to be okay.
Though I am not truly up in arms, I have definitely been in this situation before and truly want others to absorb the fact that no man, ever, should deter you from believing that you are amazing and beautiful, and that you are important. You are an important, valued, appreciated woman in the universe, and no one, especially someone who doesn’t see your worth, should ever cause you to believe otherwise. Once you are able to grasp this concept, your sense of self-doubt will deteriorate and you can live out your life how you want it. If you find a man who fits into your lifestyle, is proud of and can handle your busy schedule, he might be one to consider. No matter what, never, ever, ever, consider slowing down for a guy and losing out on maximizing your potential. After all, who runs the world?References in this article:1. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Cuffing+Season2. http://totalsororitymove.com/the-talking-phase-is-ruining-my-life/