Mud is thine enemy, and the kids clothing section is a life saver.
1. Pants
No pair of pants can ever fit right, ever. If they’re flared, your pants drag on the ground. If they’re skinny, they bunch at your ankles. They’re either too baggy or too tight. Sometimes, you get lucky and find short-cut pants. At other times you are forced to suffer. Most of the time you are forced to suffer.
2. Skirts
As someone that loves maxi skirts, shopping for one is absolutely painful. None of them are ever the right length; they’re always too long. Some are more bearable than others, sure. Usually though, you have four options: hike the skirt up so it becomes high waisted (and then go a size up so it doesn’t look awkward), wear heels so it doesn’t drag, carry the skirt so that it doesn’t drag on the ground, or accept your fate of tripping over anything and everything each time you wear your wannabe circus tent.
3. Kids clothes
Slowly it seems my wardrobe is being taken over by items I find in the children’s section of each stores I frequent. Sweater? Kids section. Hoodies? Kids section. I still have pants from when I was 12 years I’ve kept around. Why? Because kids clothes fit better than clothing meant for people my own age. Don’t judge me.
4. You can become your clothing
What I mean by this is your clothes seem to swallow you if you buy them at too large of a size. Several of my sweaters seem to consume me each time I wear them. Suddenly, you are no longer the person wearing the oversized sweater. You are the oversized sweater, one with its woolen fabric.
5. Too tight, too tight
Sometimes, you attempt to go for your size and it’s too big, so you opt to go down a size thinking all will be well, but it isn’t. As it turns out, this size is too small. You can hardly breathe in this dress/shirt/skirt/tight item of your choice. At this juncture you have two options: go baggy, or suffocate. Your pick.
6. You could hem your pants or skirts, but…
When you’re a 21-year-old broke college student, you don’t exactly either have time to mend the issue yourself, nor can you really afford a decent tailor. Good for you if you have time for either of those things, but the rest of us have to suffer over here.
7. Even Petite doesn’t fit quite right
Petite clothes are made for people on the short side, sure. Sometimes you get incredibly lucky to find good petite clothes. Sometimes though, not even petite can save you. Even petite can be too big or too small. Cry it out, friend. Just cry it out.
8. Store attendants
Attendants look at your height and automatically assume you’re smaller than you actually are. Yes, I know I’m 5’0” and look like I belong in the seventh grade. Thank you for helping but trust me, I know my size. I shan’t be stuffing myself in that x-x-x-x-small, thank you.
9. Old Faithfuls
I’ve got five different items of clothing in which fit me exactly how I want them to Most items of clothing I have from these stores fit properly, I’m never swimming in fabric or suffocating in it. As a result, I wear these all the time, multiple times a week and sometimes more than that. It’s taken years of searching, but these pieces have never betrayed me before, and I pray to the heavens that they never do.