So you’ve just spotted the love of your life sweeping down a staircase…
Or a mutual friend introduced them to you, and you felt like you were seeing the sun breaking through the clouds after a long, harsh winter of gray skies.
Either way, the moment came to pass. All that’s clear to you now is that you’ve come across the epitome of perfection and you must learn everything there is to know about them ASAP.
If you never technically “met them,” you may first have to do some preliminary research.
Maybe do some casual asking around.
“Hey, Shelby, who’s that you were talking to earlier? You know, the one with the steel blue eyes that burn with the fire of 1,000 suns? … JW.”
Maybe hang around and do some active listening.
But then you have what you need — their name.
Now, it’s time for the good stuff. You find them on every available form of social media.
*R.I.P. to those with crushes whose accounts are strictly private.*
But you don’t give a damn about social media politics and the supposed proper amount of time to wait before you follow someone on social media. You add them on EVERYTHING and get unlimited access to their profiles.
First things first — looking through all of their profile and tagged photos.
You realize that even their old photos from 2010 are adorable.
…Aaaand accidentally liking one of those old photos from 2010.
You become very suspicious of the other girls on their profile.
And you may or may not freak out because you’re pretty sure they’re in love with the girl who’s photo they just liked.
You know that you have to stop this madness but you can’t get out; you’re in too deep.
Even though you’ve never really talked to them, you feel like you know them super well.
But you know that they don’t think about you nearly as much as you think about them.
And now that you know everything there is to know about them, when you actually speak to them you have to act like you’re hearing about his trip to the Galapagos for the first time.
When in reality, you already knew about the Galapagos. You also know what their bathing suit looked like, that their mom came with them on the trip, where their mom is from, and what they ate for dinner last night. Whoops. #nojudgement