Thoughts When You're Making a Fraternity Cooler Through The Office

Whether it be NOLA, Havasu or Vegas, ‘tis the season for fraternity formals. Either you are already in a relationship with some guy in a fraternity or have called dibs on your single friend to take you, you have a cooler to make. I am currently in that situation and as a retired sorority gal, I can assure you that I love arts and crafts; I just do not have the patience.

1. “I am going to die.”


From the spray paint fumes and the sandpaper, I feel like I have cut 20 years off of my life due to this process.


When waiting for primer or mod podge to dry. Literally this cooler drying has taken up too much of my time. I know I should be productive and work on things while I wait for it to dry in between layers, but no, I’m watching "The Office" for the third time.

3. “This should not be this complicated.”

Why can’t I figure out what each side should be? Why not go with a theme? Why is it so hard to come up with a theme?


Why am I not artistic? Why is painter’s tape SO expensive and costs more than the paint that I had to buy? I absolutely hate this sketching process. I swear, if my date doesn’t love this cooler, I’m breaking up with them / we’re not friends anymore.

5. “I HATE mod podge”

I heard that this stuff messes up the designs in the end once all the paint is dry and I don’t even want to worry about it.

6. “REALLY?”

    How many times do I have to try to trace this crest on??? WHY DID I MESS UP?

7. “I’m so tired.”

    When can I sleep? I only have two sides done.

8. “I don’t even wanna go anymore”

    Is this all even worth it? Why did I say yes? I’m over it.


    Finally this cooler is FINISHED BUT I just found out that I have to fill it up with goodies now. My date better be happy with my budget.  

10. “My date’s cooler is 50 time better than that cooler.”

    Everyone else’s cooler looks like they’ve worked on it for what? Two days? TRY TWO WEEKS. BYE. HELLO (LOCATION OF THIS VACATION).