Introductions are essential to every conversation, and in college, the introduction is universal: What’s your major? This usually leads into conversation about how interesting and unique that is, and “Wow you’re going to change the world one day!” That is, unless you’re like me, one of the poor saps who chose to major in English.
English majors are always met with an odd combination of pity and smugness, because random strangers are so absurdly concerned with how we plan to make a living with our English degrees. First, don’t worry about it. We chose our majors, we’ll figure it out. And second, to avoid the awkwardness of this situation in the future, here’s a list of things we’re really sick of hearing, so you can avoid the eye roll I’ve got coming your way.
1. What are you going to do with that?
I could teach, edit, or publish. I could write novels, children’s books, textbooks, technical manuals, scripts, or a plethora of other texts. I could impress people with words like “plethora.” I could be a CEO. I could flip burgers. Don’t worry about me, worry about you.
2. You couldn’t decide what to major in?
I literally just told you what I decided to major in. Just because I’m not a biochemical engineering/neuroscience double major with a minor in calculus doesn’t mean you can devalue what I’ve chosen to devote my time to.
3. So you’re going to be a teacher?
You’re right, that’s all I could possibly do with my extensive knowledge of 500+ years of literature. Maybe I do want to teach. But there are hundreds of other things I could do with an English degree, and your narrowmindedness isn’t appreciated.
4. Are your parents OK with that?
Actually, yes, they are OK with me studying a subject I’m passionate about. And my parents aren’t the ones earning the degree, they’ll be fine.
5. Can you write my paper for me?
No.