Disclaimer: This article has strong sexual themes. If this is possibly triggering, please remember to practice self-care and check out some of the other articles on our site!
I went to my first official sex shop, this past summer. I say official because I’ve been around sex toys in the back part of Spencer’s in the past, so a whole store dedicated to sex was a first for me. It wasn’t a planned trip; I was with a friend at a tattoo and piercing parlor, and she pointed out the store. Feeling adventurous and wanting to spice up my sex life, we decided to go in and take a look. Most people think that sex shops are these wildly kinky stores similar to dank underground dungeons. They couldn’t be any further from the truth.
The clerks asked for our IDs when we walked in because, obviously, there are images in the store that only 18 plus individuals are allowed to view. Some stores also play pornography on the TV screen, but the one I went to didn’t, playing music instead. The lights were dim, not to set the mood, but because they were old. The sex toys were set up on racks and lined up so they resembled aisles in a store. There was a plethora of toys: vibrators, dildos, anal plugs, flogs, artificial vaginas and butts and many, many other things.
The store did cater to non-heterosexual relationships, and many of the products had labels that weren’t gender-specific. It didn’t matter the gender of the person purchasing it, but the box advertised the desires it would be fulfilling. The lingerie was also inclusive! There were many outfits and pieces that were of “standard” (xxs-L) sizes, but they also had sizes for those that didn’t fit into the “standard”. One thing I liked about those sizes was that they’re called “Queen” sizes, but I disliked how it was a one-size-fits-all situation with them.
I found fault in how some of the products were labeled, but it wasn’t the store’s fault. This is a general complaint about the entire sex industry. I noticed, on one of my recent visits, that some products describe the “race” of the sex toy in an extremely fetishized way. The artificial vaginas were described as “[insert race here] colored vagina,” something wrong on many levels, but particularly because the industry is fetishizing race and presenting each race as one specific shade.
Other products in the sex shop were pornography DVDs, books, light BDSM gear, drug paraphernalia and kitschy bachelorette party items. I didn’t pay them too much mind, as I was interested in other things, but it seemed like there was a little something in the shop for everyone. If you can’t find anything you like, ask one of the clerks to help you! They’re friendly and understand that first-timers might feel flustered, so don’t hesitate if you need anything.
I promise you, sex shops aren’t scary, nor are they somewhere you should be ashamed of visiting. If you’re still feeling nervous, grab a friend to go with you. Having a friend around makes it so much less intimidating because you have someone to giggle with, as you indulge your inner 11-year-old.