“Good girls are supposed to say ‘I love you.'” You ever think about just how much that affects your life and just how bullsh!tty it is?
Let me explain myself. If a boy says he’s in love with a girl and she turns him down, then he can go around telling everyone she’s a cold b!tch. But if the girl says she’s in love and the boy turns her down, then she’s just being silly and desperate and clearly she missed some signals.
Personally, I’m a little sick of the double standard because it’s not just in the “I love you” scenario I’m using as an example; it’s in everything. If she gets upset over any little thing, she’s “too emotional,” but if he does, he just “cares a lot.” If she’s really supportive of all his life choices, she’s just being a good girlfriend, but if he’s super supportive? He gets a gold medal!
According to society’s standards, women are “supposed” to be the overly-emotional, loving, expressive ones in a relationship, but the moment that the man crosses a line, it’s her fault, and the moment he does something expected, he’s doing amazing!
After watching this cycle go down in so many of my friend’s relationships, I’d also like to argue that women aren’t the emotional ones in the relationship; it’s usually the dude. In a lot of cases, he’s never had to practice any kind of emotional maturity or empathy with his friends, so when he gets his first close girlfriend, he just goes bananas and drives my gal-pal up the wall.
Of course, I have to say here that not ~all men~ are like this, but enough of them are that I’ve learned how to recognize it quickly, even from afar. The boy gets very attached very quickly and doesn’t know how to deal with a) boundaries or b) a break-up.
Which puts us in the weird “I love you” conundrum.
If he says he’s in love and gets turned down, then he’s suddenly a martyr and a victim and used, and she’s so cold and unfeeling when, dollars to doughnuts, the girl probably made things pretty clear up front what she wanted from the relationship and from where the disconnect was coming. And he blew right past it.
Again ~not all men~ …but enough of them.
So when I say that “good girls say ‘I love you,'” it’s because they get totally demonized if they say anything else. Only “b!tches” and “totally manipulative psycho girls” turn people down, but the ones who comply? That’s good girl material. She’s “good” because she does what he wants.
In any case, any time I hear some homebro whining about a girl who hurt his feelings, I’m like :^( odds are, you probably weren’t respecting her boundaries and she didn’t put up with it. Basically, I see you, girl-who-is-politely-and-dutifully-fielding-a-man and I don’t believe a word he says about you. And, I mean this from the bottom of my heart, no one else does either.