Week One in My Big Chop

Last Friday, I cut all of my hair off.

Yup, I just did it. Well, not really. I’d been planning it for a while but I’d finally built up the courage to do it. I’d planned it out in secret. I called a salon that my friend had recommended and I scheduled an appointment for the next day. I needed to do it before I changed my mind. I went in that morning with my hair in a ponytail. It would be the last ponytail I’d have for a while. It felt quite surreal. After a wash and blow-dry, I was placed in the chair and the scissors were brought out. After a quick conversation about the style I’d selected, the stylist cut away at what took forever to grow. Another wash and style, I paid and left the salon feeling totally different. Just kidding, I felt the same. But like a more bald version of myself.

I worked later that day and I felt a bit nervous about showing my new cut. I decided to wrap my hair up in a cute scarf for the day, just to keep comments to a minimum. I know it’s weird to cut your hair and feel the need to cover it immediately, but as a 21-year-old woman, I think it’s okay to admit that I felt a bit insecure. Not about what anyone would say to me, but about how I felt on the inside. I still felt beautiful because I know that my hair will never define me. I felt insecure because my hair had been such a huge part of my youth. Literally, my hair was huge. Huge buns, huge afros, sometimes I’d wear it straightened but it would resist the heat and revert back into its natural state. Either way, I felt less huge that day. I walked into work and my short curls peaked through my scarf.

My coworkers demanded that I wear my hair out, for all to see the next day and I did just that. I wore it out for the world to see and I began feeling just as huge. I felt proud of my new cut and I was so excited for my shorter wash days. Excited for my shorter styling process and just overall excitement for the new growth I’d experience. It’s only been a week and I feel like I’ve grown a thousandfold. I’d recommend the big chop for anybody out there that’s ready for a change. If you're not ready, get ready. Don’t let fear define you.