I don’t know about everyone else, but I spent my summer with my friends and family, soaking up the warm sun, and cherishing the last moments before I took the first step labeled Clark Atlanta University on my staircase of dreams. I wasn’t particularly looking for a relationship during this time, but sometimes you can’t deny what is right in front of you. I, along with many other individuals, made the choice to disregard the anticipated animosity and continue our relationships despite the opinion of others. I believe a lot of people judge individuals, particularly freshman, for starting college while in a relationship. I understand where some may have concerns, but I am here to speak up for those who are constantly antagonized for being ‘boo’d up’ in pursuance of their collegiate career. I plan on enlightening you all with a few tips. These are directed towards those who are content in their relationship and happen to be worried that the judgment and constant discouragement will start to affect the happiness of your relationship.
Communication is Key
In any relationship, communication should be first priority. When in a long distance relationship, especially in college, if there is ever a dilemma it is best to voice it immediately. Letting things build up only allows the situation to escalate further. Some problems that you believe could jeopardize your relationship are problems that can easily be solved with communication. These are skills that not everyone has but fortunately they can be learned. Over the course of your relationship be sure to always listen to your partner and what they are expressing to you. The action of listening in itself goes a long way. It not only displays that you care, but it shows your significant other that you are willing to work on the issue(s) at hand. Communicating can not only keep you from growing apart, but it can also bring you closer. The more you communicate with your partner the more things you will find out about them such as their favorite things, likes, and dislikes. Be consistent in communicating and you will have a strong healthy relationship.
Keep it Interesting
Don’t lose touch of traditions and normalities that you all have created together. A lot of people get lost trying to follow new trends that other couples are doing. Ultimately originality beats imitation so remember to stick to things that you genuinely enjoy doing rather than things you feel obligated to do as a couple. Trying new things can also be very healthy for your relationship even from afar. You and your significant deserve to spice things up a little bit this includes but is not limited to writing hand letters instead of texting back and forth all of the time, surprise each other, make it known that the spark is still there despite however many miles there are parting you. Reassurance will go a long way on both ends. Doing little things for one another creates a sense of hope. It is a constant reminder that you are not going to let the circumstances define your relationship. College is a place where you should have fun, but that does not mean that you have to put your relationship on hold to do so. Let your relationship be apart of the experience even if you can’t both physically be there mentally remind yourselves that this is just one step in your journey.
Block Out Negativity
One of the biggest tips I have to offer is to not listen to other individuals regarding YOUR relationship. It will only continuously make you doubt what you have. Occasionally people will doubt what you have with someone else because they want you for themselves, or they wish they had it. Jealousy is the root of all evil. Continue to do your thing and remember no one knows the two of you better than the two of you. Don’t let someone else’s beliefs of what you should and should not do in a relationship define what happens to yours. Whether that be the saying “People shouldn’t be in long distance relationships”, or “You shouldn’t start college in a relationship”, as well as, “Relationships are just distractions”. These sayings are just that…. sayings. The only ones in charge of your relationship are you and your partner let the negativity go in one ear and out the other, and continue to live your best life!
Find Friends That Can Relate
It might also help to find friends who are also in your position. It helps to talk to people who can relate to you rather than try to put themselves in your shoes. Other individuals’ advice could help, but no one understands more than someone that is in the same spot as you. Finding someone in college who is in a relationship whether that be long distance or on campus even might be easier than you think. Personally, I have crossed paths with a couple of people in relationships, and they seem just as happy as anyone else. You can exchange advice on what has worked for others in the past or even the present. You might even make new friends by voicing your situation. Be loud and proud of what you have due to the fact that a lot of people wish that they had the ability to be in a relationship during this time. It truly is an act of bravery to put yourself and your partner in this situation. To be able to dodge all of the obstacles and come out even stronger is a privilege in my eyes. Just remember you are not alone! Speak up and people are likely to relate to you.
Honesty is the Best Policy
Lastly, honesty is the best policy if something does happen that you aren’t proud of telling your partner and make a joint decision on what to do from there. The circumstances don’t even have to regard cheating or any acts of deception if you are losing interest in your partner be vocal. It’s truly a simple act of courtesy and if you care about them you at least owe them that. Being honest is better than wasting time on both ends. Not all situations have to end badly maybe it is a problem that can be fixed rather than a determining factor in ending your relationship. Regardless of what is going on be sure, to be honest. Living by the phrase, treat others the way you want to be treated, is bound to take you a long way. If you wouldn’t want someone to treat you the way you are treating them than you might want to think about your actions.
Ultimately these tips apply to everyone in a relationship, but if you employ these tips while your partner is a way you are more likely to get through the trials and tribulations and you might even become stronger in the end. I hope you walked away with some good advice, and remember you are not alone!