Have you ever woke up and didn’t even understand yourself? Or have you ever contemplated redesigning your who life? Nowadays, we have grasped the significance of identity as a society. From gender to race, it is all important to how we function in our daily lives. Personally, discovering the love for my blackness has been a battle, but the results have been worth it.
In the beginning, my self-quest was all about starting from the top, which just so happens to be my 4a/4b type hair. I became natural but my method is what you would call a “lazy natural.” My signature look was Senegalese twist. In fact, for 3 years straight I wore the style faithfully. Once I took them out, I would get new twists in the next day. By my fourth year of being a naturalist, I decided to actually dedicate myself.
My life started to consist of YouTube tutorials and failed twist outs. However, the journey was liberating. I began to see myself differently. There were hours of consistent research. Most times, bonding with my hair was a top priority and a huge part of my self-care routine. Now, I am considered the natural guru of all my friends and family.
The essential part of loving my skin came with the people around me. You hear people say that in order to succeed, you must surround yourself with like-minded people. I found that the same works for loving your true self. You began to compare yourself to the people around you. For instance, I have always had a loved for writing, except never felt the level of passion for it, until I surrounded myself with other writers. As I became surrounded by people of the same cultural background at my HBCU, I loved myself more.
Every day, I wake up in a different mindset than before. Of course, I still have internal obstacles that need to be faced, but that is bound to occur throughout life. I also found it keen to realize my blackness will not be valued by everyone. Accepting the opposite views of others will allow yourself to release judgment. Before, the debate was constantly about who I pictured myself as. Currently, it is about finding who I am and appreciating it.
Like I stated earlier, there are several factors that can determine your identity. Although my blackness is a huge part of my identity, it’s just as important to remember everything else that makes me, me. All aspects of my personality can’t be connected to my blackness. But this huge part of me must be celebrated.
I celebrate my blackness within my family and spreading my love through them. Specifically, I try to evoke my appreciation of my culture to my younger cousins. I celebrate by remembering black history. My goal is to never forget where I come from because the past can always guide the future. I celebrate by learning more about my blackness. Whether it is discovering a new black-owned business, or adding a new hair product to my collection, it all is a personal treat to myself.