“Not the right place”, “not the right type”, “not the right mindset”, more than four months and not yet in a real relationship. Well now we’ve got a term for all that on the internet: you are in a situationship. Probably you’ve already seen or heard about relationship tips and life hacks, as well as how not to be fooled when dating.
“Situationship” is a term for when you’re dating someone but don’t see the relationship moving forward. The famous “we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we’ve been going out for more than 6 months doing exactly the same things committed people would do and yet it is something that is not a real relationship”.
It’s like Ariana Grande once sings on “Boyfriend“: “you ain’t my boyfriend and I ain’t your girlfriend. But you don’t want me to see anybody else”.
Basically a situationship is a relationship in which the people involved have not established what they are to each other. It’s been common to see on TikTok tips on how to acknowledge if you’re in a situationship. Here’s some characteristics you may find in one:
- How long have you been talking: more than four months and not yet established if you are in a real relationship? Well, maybe you’re in a situationship;
- Never make plans more than a day in advance;
- “Team captain”: usually situationships happen with your “priority date”, the one person you’d cancel other plans (and dates) to see;
- “Never mind, forget it”: when you want to ask things, but you back down because you’re not in an official relationship. Like when you want to ask about their family but you think twice before doing so;
- False positives: “he’s treating me differently”, “he thinks I’m special”, but, honestly, he’s not making any effort;
- The day after a date you treat each other just like nothing ever happened.
Another type of video seen a lot on TikTok is how to get out of a situationship and here’s a few tips:
- Accept it: don’t take it personally and start thinking something is wrong with you. Just understand that you are not going to be together;
- Don’t engage with them: to move forward, it’s best if you keep less or no contact at all;
- Write a list of all the reasons why it wouldn’t work out o and every time you want to contact them read that list again;
- Be direct and tell them you are looking for something more.
The article above was edited by Giulia Howard.
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