When it comes to talking and analyzing relationships, you can never have enough red flags. However, it is not so natural for us to notice the green ones, which is really important and worthy of your attention when trying to understand our connection with people.
Before you get confused about what we are talking about here, let me explain what green flags are. The concept is simple: signs that the person you are seeing, or the relationship you are in is safe and healthy, and you should proceed. Usually, it also means you and your partner have built a solid foundation and are ready to have a long-term relationship.
Here are five green flags in a partner that you can use to make sure you are on the right path when it comes to connecting with someone and building a relationship:
1. they Are psychologically over with previous significant relationships
If you are entering into a personal relationship, make sure your partner is no longer linked to previous relationships. Romantic connections, especially long-term ones, often shape us for the rest of our lives. Therefore, it is critical to understand that psychologically moving on from a relationship is not about forgetting it, but understanding that it is part of your past.
People are complex, and ending an intimate relationship can be even more complex. A lot of times, immediately after ending a relationship, you feel overwhelmed and try to interact with others to meet the needs you had with your former partner. This is not only harmful to the new partner, who in most cases does not have enough intimacy to ask the other about the situation but also to the person, instead of focusing on their personal growth, who tries to ”move on” with the help of others.
In order for a person to be psychologically over with previous relationships and ready for new ones, time, healing, and a lot of conversation is key. Sharing your vulnerabilities and allowing the person to go through what they have to with no rush is also essential.
2. THEY Have other constant and long-standing personal friendships
Just as we want committed people when looking for a serious partnership, the same is true for friendships. When you get involved in a relationship with someone, it is interesting to see if they have long-standing, loyal friends, and companions. This can reveal a lot about your partner’s personality and intentions.
As we know, long-term relationships don’t consist only of romantic and sexual feelings, a physiological and emotional bond has to exist, just like in friendships. A person that can’t form true-deep connections with peers most probably won’t be psychologically available in that way for you either.
3. THEY Can balance work and private life and have enough time for both
When you change your social circles from professional to personal, it is interesting to see how the person you are in a relationship with handles certain decisions and reacts to situations.
Of course, it is understandable that you are not 100% on your game on incredibly stressful workdays, but according to a Harvard Business School survey, about 94% of professionals work more than 50 hours a week, which can lead to stress, anxiety and even burnout syndrome, which directly affects interconnections.
It is crucial to know that, if your partner is just focused on their work-life, the probability of the relationship being unbalanced is huge, as this person doesn’t have enough time to develop deeper connections with you.
4. THEY Know how to solve conflicts constructively, or are willing to learn how to do so without victimizing themselves
Emotional responsibility is undoubtedly one of the most important signals in a relationship.
If you are aware that your attitudes and emotions impact other people, long-term relationships can become more tactful as “agreeing to disagree” becomes an option and discussions become less explosive.
Emotional responsibility also impacts one’s perception of different opinions and situations. Instead of victimizing themselves and only blaming the other, the person understands that, in the same way, they are right sometimes, they can make mistakes.
Understanding that is essential, as we know that entering into a relationship can be complex and dodgy.
5. Sharing updates about your life is thrilling as they are your number one supporter
If you feel you have a healthy relationship with someone, sharing moments of joy and sadness deepens the connection. Let’s say you have been hired for your dream job or have been fired unexpectedly – good news or bad news, you want to share with that person.
Also, if you think of a particular person when something happens, it means that person is special to you and supportive. Being each other’s best fans is important, and sharing special moments can be proof of that.
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The article above was written by Isabela Tumuolo edited by Marina Fornazieri.
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