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As a relative newcomer to the blogging scene, I’ve tried to stick to the important things (football, why valentine’s day sucks, food, etc). Now this time around, when deciding last minute what to write about, I realized I had left out a topic of crucial importance, especially to collegiettes like you and me: Netflix etiquette.

Netflix is an extremely important part of the social scene in college. From who’s account you’re using to what you’re watching, every decision is of the utmost importance. We’ll start from the beginning and, hopefully by the end of this article, the college Netflix world will be a better place.

WHOSE ACCOUNT YOU’RE USING

Arguably the most important step in any relationship (even greater that being Facebook official) is the exchange of Netflix information. Maybe you’re combining your two individual Netflix accounts into one joint couple’s account or maybe one of you is just being introduced to the joys of Netflix by another (you won’t remember him so much for taking your virginity as you will for him taking your Netflix virginity). For those of us smart enough to stay out of relationships in college (you’re only young and in college once, y’all), the sharing of a Netflix account only occurs between the closest of friends. Once you’ve reached this level in your friendship, you know that these are the people who will be standing up next to you at your wedding. In any case, the joining of two souls in holy Netflix matrimony is a huge step. Consequently though, the worst part of an inevitable breakup is not the heartbreak, or the loss of a steady sex partner, but the loss of Netflix privileges. So collegiettes, heed my warning: be careful who you share your Netflix with. Netflix heartbreak is the worst of all.

WHAT YOU’RE WATCHING

After you’ve gained access to a Netflix account, the first thing to do is to decide what to watch. The Netflix game has become a little like Keeping Up With The Jones (which is not the same as Keeping Up With The Kardashians, which is on Netflix). You need to be watching what everyone else is watching, or else what is there to talk about? You can never go wrong with old favorites like House of Cards, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, or How I Met Your Mother. Some old favorites like Chuck and Dexter are always worth binging on. And don’t forget the oldies that someone someday will make fun of you for never having seen: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, and Grease, just to name a few.

NETFLIX CHEATING

This societal problem has been on the rise ever since Netflix debuted its ability to hide someone away for an entire weekend while they devoured an entire TV show in one sitting, getting out of bed just to pee and to get food. This relationship mistake is reserved for the bottom feeders, the scum of the earth. The wastes of oxygen, the lowest of the low. Let me just say it now: if you promised not to watch an episode without someone, DON’T WATCH THE EPISODE WITHOUT THEM. Going back on this promise violates the deepest of personal bonds. Committing Netflix infidelity will invariably damage someone’s trust in you permanently, and not many couples (romantic or platonic) can make it through such a rough patch. Unless you want to end the relationship (and thus, potentially lose your Netflix access), don’t Netflix cheat.

NO SPOILERS

Since you can potentially watch the entirety of LOST in 87 hours (3.6 days), everybody needs to remember that there are people out there who aren’t as motivated or talented as they are. So if you binge watched the first 2 seasons of Doctor Who last weekend, make sure your friend has caught up to you before you start raving about Daleks and how hot David Tennant is. It’s only polite.

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