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A Collegiette’s Guide to the Super Bowl

Unless you’re living under a rock, you may have heard of this upcoming phenomenon in the sports world. It occurs once a year and sends men (and women) across the country into a frenzy of football and beer. Obviously some women love it as well, but many Case collegiettes simply don’t -and this article is for you. Some of you may have been privy to some of these formal gatherings, standing in the corner nibbling on a carrot stick or two, utterly bewildered at the sight of full grown men screaming and beating on their chests over other men throwing balls and themselves at each other.

This phenomenon is called the Super Bowl. The men in your life have probably been excited about it for at least a couple weeks (maybe more if their teams were in the playoffs – but we’ll get to that later). But this year, instead of being daunted by the idea of football, this article will give you a basis on which to hold your own, and maybe earn some brownie points with your boyfriend’s gorilla-esque friends.

 

THE GAME

The general idea of football is simple. There are two teams that rotate playing offense (trying to advance the ball down the field to score) and defense (trying to prevent the opposing team from scoring). A team has four tries (downs) at a time to advance the ball 10 yards, and if they succeed, the counter resets, and they get four more tries. The end goal is to try and score by getting the ball into the end zone. Getting the ball into the end zone will earn them 6 points. They can also score an extra point for kicking the ball between the field goal posts. These seven points are collectively referred to as a “touchdown”. If they don’t get close enough to the end zone, they can additionally score 3 points from kicking the ball between the field goal posts. Sound familiar yet? 

Some stars on the gridiron to keep an eye out for are the quarterback, wide receivers, running backs, and tight ends. Wide receivers catch, running backs run, and tight ends kind of do a little of everything. These players usually do most of the scoring. The quarterback is the star of the team -usually tall, strong, and handsome. If nothing else, keep an eye out for him since he’s usually pretty cute.

THE JOURNEY

In the NFL, there are 32 teams with 2 conferences, 16 teams belonging to the AFC and 16 belonging to the NFC.  Each conference has 4 divisions each consisting of 4 teams each. Based on their regular season records (the more wins, the better), one team from each division and one wild card team (next best record after division winners) from each conference advance to the playoffs where they play for the conference titles. These two winners will play each other in the Super Bowl for the Vince Lombardi Trophy and the title of National Football League Champion.

THE TEAMS

This year, the Denver Broncos, champion of the AFC, will be facing off against the Seattle Seahawks, champion of the NFC. The game will be held at the New York Jets home stadium in New Jersey. This means it’s going to be damn cold outside, something that neither teams will be too accustomed to.

More importantly, what are the team colors? This way, you can make an educated decision about which team to root for based on which colors you look better in. The Denver Broncos wear orange and navy, and the Seattle Seahawks wear navy, lime green, and grey.

If you’re looking for some football celebs to name drop, give “Peyton Manning” or “Russell Wilson” (quarterbacks for each team) a shot. Or, if you’re feeling gutsy, go ahead and let “Richard Sherman” slip and see what happens. No, really. That won’t stir up any controversy at all. Just make sure there aren’t any 49ers fans in the vicinity.

Finally, if all else fails, go ahead and wait around for the commercials, which are reportedly “the best part of the Super Bowl”. Commercials during this year’s Super Bowl will have gone for $4.5 million per 30 second spot, so there are probably gonna be some great ones. And, the last resort, the halftime show will be starring Bruno Mars and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. It probably won’t top last year’s Beyoncé/Destiny’s Child reunion, but it’ll still be a good show.

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