Let me set the scene…Brad and Emma have been friends for a while. They basically do everything together, from going to get ice cream to discussing life problems-nothing is off limits with this friendship. They open up about their feelings even when it comes to what they look for in a significant other and they are totally comfortable complaining about the opposite sex in front of each other. Everyone on the outside looking in is convinced they are dating, but the two stick together in confirming their platonic friendship. But is that really all there is to it? Can Emma and Brad really be “just best friends?” My answer is a hard no and let me tell you why…
1. Someone Always Ends Up Caring More
Reason number one is plain and simple; no matter how hard you try, someone always ends up having expectations that don’t match the other. Whether they take care of you after a rough night or listen to you complain about a difficult test, sooner or later these thoughtful gestures build and develop into complicated feelings.
2. Jealousy Comes Out
This friendship can get extremely sticky when someone enters into an actual relationship. Lets take Brad and Emma for example; Brad starts dating Sophie and Emma begins to feel left out. Emma asks Brad to spend more time with her and to put effort into the friendship-she doesn’t get why they can’t stay as close as they were before. So Brad and Emma start hanging out just like old times but Sophie doesn’t trust this. Sophie is extremely jealous of their friendship and tells Brad that he needs to pick between them. Brad dumps Sophie.
3. Denial Sets In
Sometimes in best friendships you convince yourself that you could never look at the other as more than a friend. But somewhere along the way a seed is planted in your head when the words “I could see you two ending up together” are said. No matter how hard you deny it, these thoughts have a strong influence on your perception of the friendship and, unless you let denial win, can be very problematic.
4. You Know Too Much
When you talk about anything and everything you are bound to have conversations about some very deep topics. There is such a thing as TMI even if you think to yourself “Its just Brad I’m talking to here.” As soon as you venture into discussion of hopes and fears, an attachment and bond to each other forms and it is very difficult to reverse.
5. Your Family is Their Family
This one is probably the hardest; when their family becomes your second family, it is a common joke that one day you two might end up together. Although you play along and attend all of the family gatherings, there is always a feeling in the back of your mind that everyone is secretly routing for you two as a couple, and that can be confusing.
All that being said, I think it’s possible for guys and girls to be good friends…but when you transition from good friendship to spending every minute with one another you are probably crossing into dangerous territory. If you ever get to the point where the first person you think about when you wake up and the last person you talk to when you go to sleep is your guy “best friend”…well…I warned you.