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5 Languages of Love: Shown by Your Big

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Case chapter.

Whether you’re a non-greek or affiliated, I believe that you will have a “big” in your life. A big brother or big sister, by Greek life definition is “an active member of a fraternity or sorority who serves as a mentor to a new member, guiding him or her through the new member program and initiation.” However, in most cases, your big becomes not only someone who guides you through the first few weeks as a pledge and a new member, but also the person who you can tell all your boy problems to, who will listen to you cry after you bomb your biology mid-term, and who will squeeze you tightly after a rough day. Through the ups and downs, your big has consistently shown you lots and lots of TLC, in which her love and care have played out in every way possible. Yes, she may not be the best at showing all 5 languages of love, but she has without doubt, shown ALL 5.


  1. Words of Affirmation

Who doesn’t love a little pep talk? Your big has been there for you through the rollercoasters with you and though it may seem like a few measly words can’t change anything, hearing the words “it’s going to be okay”, surprisingly makes things seem a lot less horrible than before.


  1. Acts of Service

That time you needed to go groceries shopping but didn’t have a car? That time you needed to get waxed and didn’t have a car? That time you needed to buy crafts (typical…) from Michaels and didn’t have a car? Oh and that time you had to go to an appointment off campus AND DIDN’T HAVE A CAR? Do I really need to say more? Yeah, go thank her right now.



  1. Receiving Gifts


Just look at all the clothes and crafts that your big has given you! Not to mention all the times she has fed you, bought you that double espresso coffee when you were withering away, and then fed you again, but this time, with chocolate and wine. Also did I mention Presti bakeries? You can blame her for the freshmen-sophomore-junior 15.



  1. Quality Time


How many times has she just been there to listen to you nag and whine even though she has an exam in two days, a dance competition in a week, and a bunch of other things to do because she’s an amazing human being that is involved in everything on campus? Time is precious in a non-stop society that we live in, especially as college students. It’s easy to forget how much it means when someone takes time out of their busy life to spend it with you. Remember to acknowledge and appreciate the person who just stops, and showers you with their undivided attention.



  1. Physical Touch


You may be the most physical person on earth, but maybe your big isn’t the biggest hugger. But all in all, it doesn’t really matter. She shows her physical affection by fixing your creased shirt before recruitment, adding a little bit more blush to your cheeks and smoking out your eye make-up before you go out, sitting on your lap during chapter, and pushing you into a bush when you say something stupid. Physical touch isn’t always kisses and hugs.



So thank you biggie, and all the other biggies out there for showing your lost littles that they are worth being loved and looked after, no matter how shambly they are. Thank you for loving us and making time for us even when we keep flaking on our dates. Thank you for opening our eyes to the glorious life of being 21. Thank you for looking after us and telling us words that no one else had the balls to say to us. Thank you for feeding us when we were broke and hangry. Thank you for being you.




If you want to find out how you show and receive love, take the mini-quiz here!


No matter how you show and receive love, love is love. And the people in your life definitely appreciate your affection, regardless! <3

Have fun showing love to those you cherish, to warm up their days as the weather starts to get chillier!

Nicole is a junior studying nutritional biochemistry and psychology. She soon hopes to obtain a driver's license, because she will cry if she has to carry around her passport for much longer.