College long-distance relationships can be terrifying. Your partner goes off to a new school with new, exciting people and suddenly, for the first time, you start fearing the worst. You hear stories of the dread turkey drop—LDRs ending when everyone comes back home for the first time—and you start to imagine that it’ll happen to you. You start questioning every aspect of a perfectly good relationship, just because you’re scared.
The first semester—or year—of your long-distance relationship doesn’t have to be a long period of heartbreak and tears. LDRs aren’t easy, but with some hard work and communication, they can be some of the best years of your relationship. Here are a few tips for making your LDR seem not too scary and the distance not too far.
1. Communicate
It may seem cliché, but communication is the most important part of any LDR. Aside from making sure you don’t feel left out in your partner’s life, clear communication can stop issues before they even arise. Find creative ways to stay in touch—don’t just text! FaceTime your walk to class, Snapchat photos of new friends, share memes on social media, have Skype homework sessions, or set a designated time each week to spend an hour or two talking on the phone. Maybe even try an app like Couple, which is designed for people in LDRs.
2. Write letters
Handwritten letters are a simple, yet meaningful way to let your partner know you’re thinking about them. Take the time to make your letters fun. Maybe add some drawings, photos or mementos from your month. Or, create a care package! Add your partner’s favorite snacks, songs, movies, inside jokes, or other little things that reminds them that you haven’t forgotten what makes them unique.
Photo courtesy of Tirachard Kumtanom
3. Be a tour guide
Regardless of how often you get to see your partner, make the most out of every visit. Show them around your school, introduce them to your friends, and take them to your new favorite coffee shop. This tour through your town will help them visualize all the places and people you talk about, and they won’t feel like such a stranger in this new chapter of your life.
4. Participate in firsts
It can be hard watching your partner do a bunch of college firsts without you, especially if you’ve been together since high school. Think of new firsts that you can do as a couple. Go on creative dates that are a first for everybody! Try new foods or watch new movies for the first time together. It’s important to make fun new memories to look fondly upon during those long months apart.
5. Never underestimate the value of relaxing
You may feel compelled to rush and cram every little thing into your time together, but it’s important to take time and rest. Spending the night in watching a movie and just talking can be a great way to recharge and remember why this relationship was worth trying for in the first place.
Ultimately, remember that your relationship is unique. Advice that helps one couple might not necessarily be helpful for you and your partner. Keep in mind that as people grow, so do relationships. Your relationship might grow with you, or it might not. But what is most important is that you listen to yourself, and your partner, and if you want the relationship to last, you find ways to make it work!
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