Why we love TinderAre you feeling lonely or unnapreciated? Start swiping left or right and you’ll see if you should feel even worse about yourself, or enjoy an instant confident booster. That’s Tinder. So why do we say yes to this inorganic, shallow form of self-confidence?
Because we need…uhm, want the attentionKnowing that someone else finds you attractive, or is into you, could basically be the icing to any cake (even if you don’t like dessert). It’s the fastest form of an ego boost and it’s the easiest way to flirt with someone. In the end, it’s straight to the point. You find them attractive and they equally find you appealing. Mission accomplished. Next?
Because it passes the timeIt’s hard to sit on the early morning commute without any form of entertainment to stay awake. So naturally, we can’t possibly be doing anything else while we wait. We have to use Tinder to pass the time because 99% of the time we are all unbelievably bored. When you’ve scrolled through everything on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, Tinder is your best bet.
Because we’re curiousDon’t even get me started on FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). If we are missing out on something in the real world, we can’t manage missing out on the social media world. So you get Tinder because everyone has it. You meet people you normally wouldn’t have met and you realize it satisfies your curiosity like no other. And sometimes, if your swipes align with his, it blossoms into a relationship that you never expected.
Why we can’t stand Tinder
I’ve been told multiple times that even the most toxic places can get comfortable. Tinder is a temporary form of exhilaration, a sporadic shot of adrenaline and the worst way to realize what this app is saying about your insecurities. Why do we hate it?
Because you can talk the talk, but won’t walk the walk.Tinder is predictable, and that’s because it’s the same, cheesy opening lines that don’t have a purpose. People elaborate on how amazing they are in 3 to 4 sentences and they choose the best pictures that prove it. It’s all talk, so why not lie when you can?
Because it can get borderline creepyI interviewed some guys for this Tinder post and I asked them to be honest about why they got it in the first place. It wasn’t shocking to hear them admit that they got it because they were looking for easy hook ups. We all know that it happens, we all know that it can get borderline creepy, and while we all know that majority of the time it’s meaningless, we still emerge ourselves into the illusion that it’s easy, and therefore it is fun. Since when did any of that become the definition of “fun?”
Because it’s judging a book by its coverThere is always an element of shallowness when we use it. People justify it by saying it speeds up the process of deciding if someone is attractive or not, because in reality you would do the same if you saw someone on the street. However, at the end of the day, after admitting that Tinder satisfies your boredom, you are judging people just so you can feel better about yourself. How does that sound to you?
Because you miss 99% of the body languageWe feel excited when we see a match. We feel excited when someone says “Hey gorgeous!” But think about it this way: all these “butterflies” that you are feeling when you are on Tinder, is the exact same feeling the other girls are getting from the same line this boy said to you. A connection made through body language is something you can share with your significant other. It’s a special spark between you two, something you can keep; not something you share with 278 other matches on his list.
Because it’s a form of attention that we don’t understandYou can tell yourself you don’t take this app seriously. You can tell yourself you’re on it for your own amusement. You can tell yourself that it’s only because you’re bored. While you are saying yes to all of these comments, you are also saying yes to the fact that you are okay with him not having the courage to approach you in person. You are saying yes to his lack of self-esteem, and you are saying yes to yours. You are saying it’s okay that people hide behind their phones and it’s okay that the original way of asking someone on a date consists of “Hey want to come over tonight?”
You are also saying yes to the fact that you need attention and are willing to get it off of a mobile device. You’re saying yes to the idea that you are absolutely terrified to be honest about what you truly feel.
When I told people “I don’t take Tinder seriously,” I didn’t realize how contradicting that was. If I didn’t take Tinder seriously, then that means I believe in crazy love, messy love, “trying hard” type of love…and yet here I was still swiping left or right.
If you truly didn’t believe in that type of attraction or self-esteem, then it wouldn’t even be on your phone. When the clouds settle and the matches fade, you’ll see that whether you “take it seriously” or not, the person you connect with on Tinder is most likely doing the same with someone else. Now, is that serious enough for you?