Romance Recipes: the easy to digest guide that provides practical ingredients and perspectives on love, loving and lovers
Humans have two innate social desires: to belong somewhere, and to belong with someone. Relationships are easy to get into, but the real challenge is maintaining it when you find the right person. I mean, what ever happened to Always and Forever, baby?
Believe it or not: a happy and fulfilling relationship from day 1 to year 3 is possible, and I happen to have proof in the loving form of Carleton’s very own couple. Obviously there are many elements that can make or break a relationship, and many reasons why they end, but this article is to remind people that there is light at the end of the tunnel of luuurve and when you find that special somebody, it can last and be amazing if you both want it to.
I met with collegiette Bryanne, who has been with her boyfriend for three years and still going strong. She shares her secrets and practical advice for couples looking to maintain romance (that ‘spark’), intimacy, and commitment throughout university and beyond.
1. How to keep the romance going
Dates and celebrating couple milestones
Plan exciting trips and fun events with friends or just with each other (which will be great testaments of your relationship). Go to significant places that are reminders of certain relationship milestones – where you had your first kiss, first date, where you first met. Going back in time and seeing how much you’ve grown together brings a whole new level of intimacy and spark into the relationship.
Affection and spontaneity
Holding hands in public is a big one, it shows your commitment and affection without being overly PDA about it. Doing spontaneous things for each other, whether it’s buying a gift for someone out of the blue, making dinner for that person, or simply a small thoughtful gesture makes all the difference. Life is short – there is no exhaustive amounts of times that you can tell a person you love them.
Quality time
Having the same interests makes spending time together easier. That being said, it is important to motivate and support each other’s different hobbies as well. Do things on your own, and don’t feel forced to spend every waking hour with them. With the busy schedules of balancing school, work, friends and family, seeing your partner should feel like home away from home, like an oasis, and should be a time of bliss.
2. How to deal with conflicts of interest
Don’t sweat the little things
You won’t agree on everything, that’s for sure. But, it is extremely important to realize that little kerfuffles are not the end of a relationship. Ask yourself, will this issue really matter down the road? Keep drama at bay – and if you have a solid foundation of trust, stop worrying about every little thing that seems suspicious. Trust someone fully until they give you a reason not to. And when they give you a reason not to, trust your gut and don’t second guess yourself.
Communicate about everything
Talk about your feelings a lot and what’s on your mind. Don’t be afraid to be straight up, because it’ll always be better than bottling up your feelings. It will avoid stacking up the small things into a giant, overwhelming grudge of outstanding issues that generally lead to the demise of relationships.
Be a good listener
When a conflict of interest arises, always hear each other out – however furious you are at the person, let the information fully sink in before jumping to any conclusions. Mistrust can be a huge issue in relationships and the best way to get around that is to talk about everything. Note: Also talk about how much you each want to know when the relationship begins to take off. Some people like to know every single little thing about their significant other so there are no surprises down the road – other people prefer that the past stay in the past. So communicate about your expectations.
Ability to be able to forgive and forget or walk away
If you made some kind of mistake in your relationship, firstly, tell your partner. Let them vent about it, bother you about it, and then get over it. But make sure they do get over it and mean it – because if someone doesn’t let something go, the relationship will never last because of the constant reminder of your mistakes being echoed in future conflicts. Vice versa, deep in your heart if you can forgive and live with their mistake, listen to your gut, or else be ready to walk away.
3. Key ingredients of a long-lasting relationship
Love and compassion
When you truly love each other, the other qualities are easy to maintain.
Similar values and morals
This is a huge necessity in a relationship because it paves the path for your future together, and the more your values differ, the more you’re headed straight for a fork in the road. Everything matters; from views on religion, monogamy, marriage, children, what type of lifestyle you want, to how you want to spend your money – these are all things to consider when thinking about a long-term relationship, and if your ideals don’t match up or there is no compromise, there won’t be a relationship down the road.
Intimacy and sex
Here’s a different perspective on sex, because it is an obvious necessity of a healthy relationship to have sexual chemistry. What doesn’t matter? The amount of times you have sex. The real key is having similar libidos. You both love it 7 days a week? Great! Once a month is an agreed ideal? Fine! But if you need more satisfaction action than your significant other, then this is where problems are created, vice versa. Because remember: if you don’t do it, somebody else will.
Here’s hoping to a great season of love, romance, and a plethora of meaningful Always & Forevers.
Special thanks to Bryanne Mitton for contributing her invaluable advice.
image source:http://files.myopera.com/hedif…
http://wordsthatwork.tv/improve-the-way-you-and-your-partner-resolve-conflict/